Waiting for an Omnibus in the Lowther Arcade on a Rainy Day: A Farce, in One Act — John Shaqi
Waiting for an Omnibus in the Lowther Arcade on a Rainy Day: A Farce, in One ActMorton, John Maddison
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Waiting for an Omnibus in the Lowther Arcade on a Rainy Day: A Farce, in One Act
Morton, John Maddison
English drama -- 19th century; Farces; London (England) -- Drama
FANNY. I like Mr. O’Walker very well, mamma; he’s agreeable enough—very
amusing—very attentive—sufficiently good-looking——
MRS. J. And very genteel! And then, he’s very well to do in the world;
in short, Fanny, it’s a very desirable match for you in every respect;
and if we can only persuade cousin Brown to be of the same opinion——
FANNY. Surely, mamma, I can get married without the consent of this
cousin Brown that you are always talking about?
MRS. J. Of course you can, my dear; but Barbican Brown is a rich old
bachelor, and your godfather into the bargain—I shall never forget him
on the memorable occasion of your christening—the tender yet
half-reproachful tone in which he said “don’t kick up such a row, you
little brat,” as you lay squalling in his arms; and I must say, my
dear, you did misbehave yourself in a variety of ways.
FANNY. Well, this godpapa of mine certainly must have taken a very
violent interest in me indeed, considering that he has never seen me
since.
MRS. J. Simply because your poor papa went out of business shortly
after and settled at Brentford, and cousin Barbican went into business
and settled in London; we really must go over to his little place at
Holloway this evening, we shall be sure to catch him at home, and then
we’ll see if between us we can’t coax him to come down with something
handsome on your wedding day. (_violent rain heard_) Dear, dear, I
declare it rains harder than ever; I really think, Fanny, we had better
put off our shopping and our intended visit to cousin Barbican till
to-morrow, and get into a Brentford omnibus and go home at once.
FANNY. Very well, mamma, but do let us take one stroll up and down the
Arcade first. I suppose there’s no harm in it?
MRS. J. Harm! Do you suppose I should be here if everything wasn’t
perfectly respectable? For goodness’ sake put that silly notion out of
your head—and take care of your pockets.
_MRS. JELLICOE and FANNY lounge out at R., looking at shops as they
exeunt; violent rain again heard and noise of voices L., in dispute._
VOICE. (_outside_) Now then—where are you pushing?
O’WALKER. (_without_) I’m pushing my way into the Arcade—at least, I am
trying to do it!
_O’WALKER, with a green cotton umbrella over his head, forces his way
through CROWD, L._
O’WALKER. Isn’t it a remarkable fact, that people no sooner get under
cover out of the rain than they immediately congregate in a dense mass
to prevent other people getting under cover out of the rain—I don’t
know why they should, but they do! Here’s a day! never mind, I’ve no
doubt the country wants rain, the turnips especially: somehow or other,
turnips always seem to want rain—I don’t know why they should, but they
do! and if they do, all I can say is, they’ve got it—consequently, it’s
all for the best; and although my new twelve-and-ninepenny boots do
feel for all the world like a couple of wet sponges, I think of the
agricultural interest and am silent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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