Waiting for DaylightTomlinson, H. M. (Henry Major)
General
Waiting for Daylight
Tomlinson, H. M. (Henry Major)
English essays; World War, 1914-1918
There is a street which turns abruptly from my straight road to the
station. It goes like a sudden resolution to get out of this daily hurry
and excitement. It is a pre-war street. It is an ancient thoroughfare of
ours, a rambling and unfrequented by-way. It is more than four years
since it was a habit of mine to loiter through it, with a man with whom I
shall do no more pleasant idling. We enjoyed its old and ruinous shops
and its stalls, where all things could be bought at second-hand,
excepting young doves, ferrets, and dogs. I saw it again this morning,
and felt, somehow, that it was the first time I had noticed it since the
world suddenly changed. Where had it been in the meantime? It was empty
this morning, it was still, it was luminous. It might have been waiting,
a place that was, for the return of what can never return. Its sunlight
was different from the glare in the hurrying road to the station. It was
the apparition of a light which has gone out. I stopped, and was a little
fearful. Was that street really there? I thought its illumination might
be a ghostly sunlight haunting an avenue leading only to the nowhere of
the memory. Did the others who were passing see that by-way? I do not
think so. They never paused. They did not glance sideways in surprise,
stare in an expectancy which changed almost at once into regret for what
was good, but is not.
Who would not retire into the near past, and stay there, if it were
possible? (What a weakness!) Retrospection was once a way of escape for
those who had not the vitality to face their own fine day with its
exacting demands. Yet who now can look squarely at the present, except
officials, armament shareholders, and those in perambulators? This
side-turning offered me a chance to dodge the calendar and enter the
light of day not ours. The morning train of the day I saw in that street
went before the War. I decided to lose it, and visit the shop at the top
of the street, where once you could buy anything from a toddy glass to
an emu's egg having a cameo on it of a ship in full sail. It was also a
second-hand bookshop. Most lovers of such books would have despised it.
It was of little use to go there for valuable editions, or even for such
works as Sowerby's _Botany_. But when last the other man and myself
rummaged in it we found the first volume of the _Boy's Own Paper_, and an
excellent lens for our landscape camera. An alligator, sadly in need of
upholstering, stood at the door, holding old umbrellas and walking-sticks
in its arms. The proprietor, with a sombre nature and a black beard so
like the established shadows of his lumbered premises that he could have
been overlooked for part of the unsalable stock, read Swedenborg, Plato,
Plutarch, and Young's _Night Thoughts_--the latter an edition of the
eighteenth century in which an Edinburgh parson had made frail marginal
comments, yellow and barely discernible, such as: "How True!" This dealer
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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