"WANTED, A YOUNG LADY"-- _A Farce_, IN ONE ACT. BY W. E. SUTER, AUTHOR OF The Pirates of the Savannah, Idiot of the Mountain, Syren of Paris, Angel of Midnight, Old House on the Bridge, Outlaw of the Adriatic, Sarah's Young Man, A Quiet Family, John Wopps, Rifle Volunteer, Brother Bill and Me, Highwayman's Holiday, Accusing Spirit, First Love, Our New Man, Fan-fan, the Tulip, &c., &c. THOMAS HAILES LACY, 89, STRAND, LONDON. "WANTED, A YOUNG LADY." _Characters._ ADELAIDE STIRLING (_First Comedy_) FRANK MITCHELL (_First Comedy_) SIMON SNOOZLE (_Low Comedy_) _Costumes._ FRANK. _First Dress_--Travelling suit. _Second_--Old lady's hood, silk gown, shawl, spectacles, and stick. _Third_--Same as first. SIMON. _First Dress_--Half livery. _Second_--Velvet cap and silk dressing gown. ADELAIDE. _First Dress_--Travelling dress. _Second_--Silk bonnet, veil, spectacles, shawl, and stick. _Time in Representation_--40 _Minutes._ "WANTED, A YOUNG LADY"-- SCENE.--_Interior of an old Country Mansion; door, C.; door, R.; door L.; easy chairs; couch, L.; fire-place, R.; clock, C.; chairs, &c.; table, R., on it a lighted lamp; closet at back, L._ SIMON. (_entering, door C._) Yes, yes, godfather, make your mind easy, you may sleep quietly on both sides of your face. (_advancing_) That's a saying in our parts; but I have tried it, and I couldn't do it. (_looking at clock_) Seven o'clock! what a litter this room is in. (_placing chairs, &c._) And look here. (_indicating clothes scattered over an easy chair_) What's all this? Oh, old master's morning gown. (_places it in the closet_) I have an idea that this place of mine suits me very well. I am boarded and lodged and washed, eight pounds a year, and the key of the cellar. I fancy I shall soon get my nose red in this house. (_sits_) This here easy chair is uncommon comfortable. FRANK. (_entering, C. door, a portmanteau in his hand_) I don't see a soul about. (_seeing SIMON_) Eh! halloa, my friend! (_shaking him_) What are you doing there? SIMON. (_all aback_) Me, sir! I--I'm a doing my work. FRANK. Doing what? SIMON. (_rising_) What do you please to want? FRANK. I wish to see Mr. or Mrs. Mitchell. SIMON. Oh! either of them would do, then? FRANK. (L. C.) Yes. SIMON. (R. C.) That's lucky, for they are both gone out. FRANK. Out! then I will await their return. SIMON. I don't think you will, sir. FRANK. How do you mean? SIMON. Why, when master and missus went away this morning, they said they were going on a visit, and should be away nine or ten days--and the same number of nights too, no doubt. FRANK. (_aside_) Pleasant information! all this distance from London, and not a shilling in my pocket. (_to SIMON_) Are you alone here? SIMON. Yes, I'm quite alone in the house, except my godfather, who lives at the bottom of the garden. FRANK. The surly old brute I met in the park? SIMON. Yes, that's godfather.