SIMON. (_putting on morning gown_) Perhaps you are going to make me a present of one like it, and want to see if it will fit. FRANK. Perhaps. SIMON. I'd rather have a coat, with nice long tails. FRANK. (_hunting in closet_) Here, now put on this cap. (_giving him morning cap_) SIMON. Well, but---- FRANK. No observations; put the cap on, or I discharge you. (_pulls the cap down over SIMON'S eyes_) SIMON. Don't--I will! FRANK. Now, muffle your face up--good--turn about, walk, not like that, stoop--bend your back--that's it! Now, where is grandmother's chamber? (_seeing ADELAIDE--who enters, door, L._) Hush! here she is! SIMON. (_R. C.--frightened_) Your grandmother? FRANK. (C.) Don't stir! ADELA. (_aside_) I know not why, but I felt frightened while in that great apartment. (_seeing SIMON_) Ah! FRANK. Miss--hem--miss--ah! here is my grandfather, he has just returned---- SIMON. (_aside--looking about_) His grandfather, where is he? ADELA. (_L. C.--curtseying_) Sir! FRANK. (_making signs to SIMON_) Grandfather, this is the companion of whom I have just told you. SIMON. (_astonished--to FRANK_) What, me! FRANK. (_aside--to him_) Hold your tongue, or I'll break your back. (_shouting_) The female companion. (_to ADELAIDE_) He is dreadfully deaf; but that is not astonishing at his age--ninety-three--yes, I assure you, he is ninety-three! SIMON. Oh! really, sir---- FRANK. Hold your tongue, or be killed! (_shouting_) You are very tired, sit down, dear grandfather. (_to ADELAIDE_) The very shortest walk fatigues him, and no wonder, for as I said before, he is ninety-seven, and--(_pushing SIMON violently into easy chair_) Sit down, dear grandfather! (_aside to him_) Sit down, you brute, and say your wife will be back directly! SIMON. (_astonished_) My wife will be back directly. FRANK. (_to ADELAIDE_) He says his wife will be back directly. ADELA. Very well, sir; I will wait. FRANK. She is still in the park--grandfather's legs are so weak--to say nothing that he has the rheumatism; but, you know, an old soldier---- SIMON. (_aside_) Now I am an old soldier! ADELA. Ah! your grandfather has served in---- FRANK. Certainly! (_to SIMON_) Grandfather, the young lady asks if you have served. (_aside--to him_) Why don't you answer? SIMON. Oh! yes, yes! I'm in service now! FRANK. (_punching him slyly_) You jackass! ADELA. What did he say? FRANK. Oh! nothing--don't mind him--he isn't always quite right in his head--rather idiotic sometimes. ADELA. Poor old gentleman. SIMON. (_aside_) Now I'm an idiot! FRANK. His great age, as I said before, ninety-nine, you know! (_to SIMON_) As you say that grandmother is on her way home, you had better go and meet her. ADELA. How! fatigued as he is, and at his age to go alone---- FRANK. Exactly! Surely, at his age, he is old enough to go alone! ADELA. No, no; go you, and I will stay here and bear your grandfather company.