Mine dear Fritz,--Vot to tink I don't know, Ven dose hospital letters I get, But mine tears dey vill run britty shlow, Till I hear some tings different yet, Ven you're sick like you tries to make oudt, Vot you vant mit some shmeircase to eat, Und pork sausages, coffee and kraut Und limburger und pickled pig's feet? I shoost tink you contented might shtay, Till de var is all ofer und done, Mit some custards und jells like you say, Dat is better dan facing de gun. Ve get nefer such goot tings like dese Here at home in de old Faderland, For dose English shut up all de seas Ven to shtarve us goot Shermans dey planned. Ven de men und de poys vent avay For to fight for de goot Faderland, Den de vomans must vork all de day Mit a piece of plack bread in deir hand. Dere's no meat now, nor butter at all, Shoost de tings ve can grow in de ground; Und already I'm getting so shmall, Dat mine dress vill go twice times around. All dat cash in de bank dat ve haf, Ven de Kaiser's men need it, dey said, If dey takes efry cent dat ve save, Schraps of baper dey gifs us instead. But I fool dose chaps vonce, britty soon, For I put all de gold in a sack, Mit your vatch, und mine brooches und shpoon In de garden I bury dem back. Yours yet, Katrina. FRITZ LEARNS ABOUT CANADA Vot's de use for some beeples to blow, Und to make some beeg fools mit demselves Ven already de tings dey don't know Vould soon fill all de books on de shelves? Ven I'm oudt in de hospital yard, Und go unter de tree mit de rest, Den I shmoke, und I blay some more card Mit von chap from de Canada Vest. Dis here feller, his name is Von Krink, Und his fader from Shermany go, He vill tell me some lies I don't tink, From de blace vere dose maple leafs grow. Dat beeg farm of his dad's is so vide Dey musht drive all deir horses mit shteam, Und it take dem, to plow down de side, Von whole veek mit a buffalo team. Und to cross dat beeg country, he say, Dey go five or six days on de train; Dey could shtick in von corner avay, De whole Faderland, England und Spain. Dey haf rivers more beeg as de Rhine, Und some forests as vide as de sea, Und dose veat fields, mit homesteads so fine, Dey vill gif von for notting to me. Vot's de use den ve fight, I don't know, For von shmall shtrip of land py de sea, For if dis feller tells me vot's so, Den already beeg fools ve must pe. Ven dis var vill get ofer, you bet, So dat me und Katrina can go, I vill get me von farm maype yet, From de blace vere dose maple leafs grow. FRITZ CAN'T FURSHTAY