But when the times are hard and straight, His is indeed a sorry fate; We let him die, with starving cry, Like Lazarus, beside our gate. When all the battle flags are furled, And wolf and lamb together curled, We loudly sing,--"God Save the King," And bid defiance to the world. When some must go to bear the brunt, And check the German Kaiser's stunt, We still can brag, and wave the flag, But send the British to the front. When Princess Pats charge down the pike, And put the Germans on the hike, We shout,--"Hooray for Canaday! The world has never seen our like." But when word comes across the waves, The first contingent misbehaves, We cry aloud to all the crowd, "Them British born are fools or knaves." When other men with sword and gun, Would stop the fierce destroying Hun, We count the cost as money lost, And still look out for number one. When other lands attain their goal, Our name will blacken Heaven's scroll, A thing of scorn, all men to warn; A country that has lost its soul. THE ENGLISH WOMAN'S COMPLAINT March, 1915 We want to ask Canadians To treat us not as fools; We cannot learn to play the game Until we learn the rules. We ask them not to try to take The mote from our eye, Nor say, till their own beam's removed, "No English need apply." We try to be Canadians, It's 'ard we must confess, To drop our English adjectives And learn to say "I guess," We've chucked the bread and cheese and beer, We learning to eat pie, So please cut out that nasty slur, "No English need apply." We came 'ere for our children's sake, (At 'ome they 'ad no show) Though 'tain't just what we thought it was, This land of frost and snow; But we never shrink at 'ardships, And we've come 'ere to stiy; So hustle down that bloomin' sign, "No English need apply." We aren't no cooking experts, And couldn't make a blouse, For, till our 'usbands married us, We never 'ad kept 'ouse; And then we 'ad our families, But that's no reason why, As you should flash your dirty ads, "No English need apply." At learning to economize Perhaps we're rather slow, But when you call for volunteers Our sons and 'usbands go; In all of your contingents Canadians are shy, But Colonel Sam 'as never said, "No English need apply." When, steeped in military pride, The crazy Kaiser Bill Let loose his hell-directed hordes, To plunder, burn and kill, And British lads took up their guns For Freedom's cause to die, Brave, blood-stained Belgium didn't say "No English need apply."