UNA [to GEORGE]. Thank you so much. You may put it back again. That was all I wanted. [After GEORGE has.] I hope I didn't overtax you. GEORGE. Oh, it ain't very heavy. UNA [triumphantly to her father]. You see! BRAITHEWAITE. But he uses "ain't." UNA [imitating the reproof of her father]. Many of the best people use "ain't" now, dear. BRAITHEWAITE. Not with his enunciation. UNA. What was yours like when you were a railroad signalman? BRAITHEWAITE. Una! The past of a public man should be private. UNA. George has our children's future before him. All the others I know have only their parents' past behind. You could give him a job suitable for my husband. I'll make my husband suitable for the job. BRAITHEWAITE. But you don't know him, my dear. UNA. I don't know myself for that matter. If I don't like him, it's easy enough to go to Reno. BRAITHEWAITE. Then you insist? UNA. I'm tremendously eager. It's so unusual. BRAITHEWAITE. I suppose I could sue Shaw. UNA. Don't be silly. Sue an Englishman with German sympathies! Where's your neutrality? BRAITHEWAITE [sinking into a chair]. Very well. UNA [running up to GEORGE with delight]. Then it's settled, dear. We're going to marry. GEORGE. Excuse me, Miss, we ain't. BRAITHEWAITE [shocked]. "Ain't" again! UNA [correcting]. "Aren't," dear--I mean, we are. GEORGE. Not. UNA [backing away]. Why not? GEORGE. Because--I'm married already. BRAITHEWAITE [rising]. What? UNA. How annoying! GEORGE. Married three years, and expecting a baby, Miss. UNA [troubled]. Oh, please! BRAITHEWAITE. You see what plunging means. I told you I believed in eugenic examinations first. UNA [walking up and down, thinking]. Sh! Be quiet, father. Don't lose your head. BRAITHEWAITE. Better than losing your heart. UNA [laughing]. I have it. Of course. How stupid of me not to think. George. GEORGE. Yes, Miss. BRAITHEWAITE. Wouldn't you better call him "Mr. Coxey" now? UNA [paying no heed to her father's remark]. George, you must divorce your wife. GEORGE. Me? Why she's as good as gold and---- UNA. That's unfortunate. [Thinking.] Then I'll have to run away with you and let her get the divorce. BRAITHEWAITE [now really shocked]. Una! UNA [innocently]. What, Dad? Have you something better to suggest? BRAITHEWAITE [fuming]. I can't permit it. I didn't mind the uncommon scandal of your marrying a car conductor, but I absolutely draw the line at common scandal. UNA [a little bored]. Father, dear, why will you sometimes talk to me as though I were the Public Service Commission? There's going to be no scandal. You can keep it out of the newspapers. GEORGE. Excuse me, but that don't make any difference. I don't want to get a divorce. UNA. You don't? Why? GEORGE [embarrassed]. Sounds like a song, I know, but--I love my wife. UNA [in despair]. And you're the unusual man I'm to marry. BRAITHEWAITE [with the contempt of a professional toward an amateur]. Stealing nickels doesn't develop the imagination.