Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Love stories; Mate selection -- Fiction
This serious Christmas eve left its traces upon many ensuing weeks.
Nora’s education was resumed with a certain added solemnity. Roger
was no longer obliged to condescend to the level of her intelligence,
and he found reason to thank his stars that he had improved his own
mind. He found use for all the knowledge he possessed. The day of
childish “lessons” was over, and Nora sought instruction in the
perusal of various classical authors, in her own and other tongues,
in concert with her friend. They read aloud to each other
alternately, discussed their acquisitions, and digested them with
perhaps equal rapidity. Roger, in former years, had had but a small
literary appetite; he liked a few books and knew them well, but he
felt as if to settle down to an unread author were very like starting
on a journey,—a case for farewells, packing trunks, and buying
tickets. His curiosity, now, however, imbued and quickened with a
motive, led him through a hundred untrodden paths. He found it hard
sometimes to keep pace with Nora’s pattering step; through the
flowery lanes of poetry, in especial, she would gallop without
drawing breath. Was she quicker-witted than her friend, or only more
superficial? Something of one, doubtless, and something of the
other. Roger was forever suspecting her of a deeper penetration than
his own, and hanging his head with an odd mixture of pride and
humility. Her quick perception, at times, made him feel
irretrievably dull and antiquated. His ears would tingle, his cheeks
would burn, his old hope would fade into a shadow. “It’s worse than
useless,” he would declare. “How can I ever have for her that charm
of infallibility, that romance of omniscience, that a woman demands
of her lover? She has seen me scratching my head, she has seen me
counting on my fingers! Before she is seventeen she will be mortally
tired of me, and by the time she is twenty I shall be fatally
familiar and incurably stale. It’s very well for her to talk about
life-long devotion and eternal gratitude. She doesn’t know the
meaning of words. She must grow and outgrow, that is her first
necessity. She must come to woman’s estate and pay the inevitable
tribute. I can open the door and let in the lover. If she loves me
now I shall have had my turn. I can’t hope to be the object of two
passions. I must thank the Lord for small favors!” Then as he
seemed to taste, in advance, the bitterness of disappointment,
casting about him angrily for some means of appeal: “I ought to go
away and stay away for years and never write at all, instead of
compounding ponderous diaries to make even my absence detestable. I
ought to convert myself into a beneficent shadow, a vague tutelary
name. Then I ought to come back in glory, fragrant with exotic
perfumes and shod with shoes of mystery! Otherwise, I ought to clip
the wings of her fancy and put her on half-rations. I ought to snub
her and scold her and bully her and tell her she’s deplorably
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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