Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
Alfred went to sleep laughing and arose laughing. His mirth excited
comment; it was so continued. The mother often asserted that Alfred,
from the time he was a baby, always awoke laughing in the morning. But
his mirth was so uproarious this morning that it caused the father to
look worried.
Finally, he called Alfred into an adjoining room. Looking him full in
the face he asked: "Did you have a hand in that affair last night?"
Had Alfred been threatened with death he could not have suppressed his
laughter. The more he laughed the more serious the father became. He had
become satisfied that Alfred was connected with the reprehensible act.
The father continued threateningly:
"Well, my boy, you keep on, there will be an end to this kind of work. I
cannot protect you if it gets out on you; it will be the worst blow you
ever inflicted upon this family." Thus the father talked until Alfred
said: "Well, Pap, I hope you are not going to connect me with this thing
just because I laughed."
"No, but I have a feeling that you know something of it. Those
associated with you in this thing will be very apt to blame it all on
you."
"Oh no, they won't. Now, just because I laugh _you're_ going to swear
this thing onto me."
"I am not," replied the father. "The whole town is laughing for that
matter but it will go none the less hard with those engaged in it. I
wouldn't go over in town if I were you," advised the father as he left
the room.
Alfred made his way to Potts' shoe-shop, passing the old tan-house on
the way. Broken transparency, bits of candles, and other odds and ends
were scattered over the ground. The white-washed fence opposite the
window in the old tan-house had the appearance of a field covered with
snow, with here and there a bit of cedar shrubbery growing on it.
Dennis Isler, Jim Johnson and Piggy Mann were under suspicion. Alfred
stood among the crowd and listened in silence to each description of the
scene. No two had seen it alike; one man swore there were half a dozen
shots fired, another declared a brick knocked the hat off his head
without injuring him in the least.
Alfred returned home. The mother and Lin repeatedly inquired as to what
he was laughing at. Lin finally, when the mother was not within hearing,
with an air "you may fool everybody else but you can't fool me" half
whispered: "I know ye done hit. Everybody wud know hit wus ye. Why,
look at yer pants laig, up thar in the room, the marks is on hit."
Alfred flew up stairs. The right leg of a fairly good pair of pants was
amputated just above the knee. The mother wondered why Alfred gave those
pants to Cal Pastor (who had but one leg).
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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