Cambridge (England) -- Fiction; College teachers -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Marriage -- Fiction
"Yes," said Howard, "and if I may speak quite frankly, I do very much
respect your own judgment and your convictions. It seems to me that you
have a very sceptical turn of mind, which has acted as a solvent upon a
whole host of stupid and conventional beliefs. I don't think you take
things for granted, and it always seems to me that you have got rid of
a great many foolish traditions which ordinary people accept--and it's
a fine attitude."
"I'm not too old to be insensible to a compliment," said Mrs. Graves,
smiling. "What you are surprised at is to find that I have any beliefs
left, I suppose? And I expect you are inclined to think that I have
done the feminine thing ultimately, and compromised, so as to retain
just the comfortable part of the affair."
"No," said Howard, "I don't. I am much more inclined to think that
there is something which is hidden from me; and I want you to explain
it, if you can and will."
"Well, I will try," said Mrs. Graves. "Let me think." She sate silent
for a little, and then she said: "I think that as I get older, I
recognise more and more the division between the rational part of the
mind and the instinctive part of the mind. I find more and more that my
deepest convictions are not rational--at least not arrived at by
reason--only formulated by it. I think that reason ought to be able to
formulate convictions; but they are there, whether expressed or not.
Most women don't bring the reason to bear at all, and the result is
that they hold a mass of beliefs, some simply inherited, some mere
phrases which they don't understand, and some real convictions. A great
deal of the muddle comes from the feminine weariness of logic, and a
great deal, too, from the fact that they never learn how to use
words--words are the things that divide people! But I believe more and
more, by experience, in the SOUL. I do not believe that the soul begins
with birth or ends with death. Now I have no sort of doubt in my own
mind that the soul of your child was a living thing, a spirit which has
lived before, and will live again. Souls, I believe, come to the brink
of life, out of some unknown place, and by choice or impelled by some
need for experience, take shape. I don't know how or why this is--I
only believe that it is so. If your child had lived, you would have
become aware of its soul; you would have found it to have perfectly
distinct qualities and desires and views of its own, not learnt from
you, and which you could not affect or change. All those qualities are
in it from the time of birth--but it takes a soul some time to learn
the use of the body. But the connection between the soul and the father
and mother who give it a body is a real one; I don't profess to know
what it is, or why it is that some parents have congenial children and
some quite uncongenial ones--that is only one of the many mysteries
which beset us. Holding all this, it does not seem to me on the face of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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