Science fiction; Short stories; Submarines (Ships) -- Fiction; War stories
He smiled sardonically into the gray gloom, knowing that his thinking
was running backwards, that he had acted before reasoning why, that he
was rationalizing in an attempt to soothe himself and absolve himself.
But a lot of human thinking occurred beneath the level of consciousness,
down in the darker regions of the mind where it was not allowed to
become conscious lest it bring shame to the thinker. And perhaps he had
reasoned it all out in that mental half-world where thoughts are inner
ghosts, haunting the possessed man with vague stirrings of uneasiness,
leading him into inexplicable behaviour.
I am free now, he told himself. I have given them my declaration of
independence, and I am an animal struggling to survive. Living in
society, a man must submit to its will, but now I am divorced from it,
and I shall live apart from it if I live at all, and I shall owe it
nothing. The "governed" no longer gives his consent. How many times have
men said, "If you don't like the system here, why don't you get out?"
Well, he was getting out, and as a freeborn human animal, born as a
savage into the world, he had that right, if he had any rights at all.
He grunted moodily and lowered himself down into the belly of the sub.
They would be starting the search soon. He sealed the hatches and opened
the water intakes after slowing to a crawl. The sub shivered and
settled. The indicator crept to ten feet, twenty, thirty. At fifty feet,
he jabbed a button on the computer, and the engines growled a harder
thrust. He kept the northeasterly heading at maximum underwater speed.
* * * * *
An hour crept by. He listened for code on the sonar equipment, but heard
only the weird and nameless sea-sounds. He allowed himself a reading
light in the cramped compartment, folded the map-table up from the wall,
and studied the coastline of Africa.
He began to feel a frightening loneliness, although scarcely two hours
had passed since his rebellious decision, and he was accustomed to long
weeks alone at sea. He scoffed at himself. He would get along okay; the
sub would take him any place he wanted to go, if he could escape
pursuit. Surely there must be some part of the world where men were not
concerned with the senseless struggle of the titans. But all such places
were primitive, savage, almost unendurable to a man born and tuned to
the violin-string pitch of technological culture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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