"That night I lay behind a certain ditch. The moon shone on the nape of
my neck. The good landlord passed me by on the road, he and his good
wife, chattering and happy as a pair of lovers. I groped for the gun.
The queerest feeling came over me. I did not even raise it. I had no
nerve. I quaked behind the ditch. His footsteps and her footsteps were
like cracks of this hammer on my head. I knew, then, in that minute,
that I was no good, and that Gobstown was for ever lost.... What
happened me? Who can say that for certain? Many a time have I wondered
what came over me in that hour. I can only guess.... Nobody belonging to
me had ever been rack-rented. I had never seen any of my own people
evicted. No great judge of assize had ever looked down on me from his
bench to the dock and addressed to me stern words. I had never heard
the clang behind me of a prison door. No royal hand of an Irish
constabularyman had ever brought a baton down on my head. No carbine had
ever butted the soft places of my body. I had no scars that might redden
with memories. The memories I had and that might give me courage were
not memories of landlords. There was nothing of anger in my heart for
the Gobstown landlord, and he went by. I dragged my legs out of the
ditch and drowned my cousin's gun in a boghole. After it I dropped in
the handful of cartridges. They made a little gurgle in the dark water
like blood in a shot man's throat. And that same night I went home, put
a few things in a red handkerchief, and stole out of Gobstown like a
thief. I walked along the roads until I came to this town, learned my
trade, became a respectable shoemaker, and--tell your mother I never use
anything only the best leather. There are your boots, Padna, tips and
all ... half-a-crown. Thanks, and well wear!"
THE RECTOR
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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