Yes, I think she is right! How could she be wrong at that moment?
"... And for this foolishness of yours and for what you did
yesterday during the walk, I love you the more, much more."
"Then why did you torture me? Why would you not come? Why did you
send me the pink check and make me--?"
"Perhaps I wanted to test you. Perhaps I must be sure that you will
do anything I wish, that you are completely mine."
"Yes, completely."
She took my face, my whole self, between her palms, lifted my head:
"And how about 'It is the duty of every honest Number'? Eh?"
Sweet, sharp, white teeth,--a smile. In the open cup of the armchair
she was like a bee,--sting and honey combined.
Yes, duty.... I turned over in my mind the pages of my records;
indeed there is not a thought about the fact that strictly speaking
I should....
I was silent. Exaltedly (and probably stupidly) I smiled, looking
into the pupils of her eyes. I followed first one eye and then
the other and in each of them I saw myself, a millimetric self
imprisoned in those tiny rainbow cells. Then again the lips and the
sweet pain of blooming.
In each Number of the United State there is an unseen metronome
which tick-tocks silently; without looking at the clock we know
exactly the time of day within five minutes. But now my metronome
had stopped and I did not know how much time had passed. In fright
I grasped my badge with its clock from under the pillow. Glory be
to the Well-Doer! I had twenty minutes more! But those minutes were
such tiny, short ones! They ran! And I wanted to tell her so many
things. I wanted to tell her all about myself; about the letter from
O- and about that terrible evening when I gave her a child; and for
some reason also about my childhood, about our mathematician Plappa
and about the square-root of minus one; and how, when I attended
the glorification on the Day of Unanimity for the first time in my
life, I wept bitterly because there was an ink-stain on my unif--on
such a holy day!
I-330 lifted her head. She leaned on her elbow. In the corners
of her lips two long, sharp lines and the dark angle of lifted
eyebrows--a cross.
"Perhaps on that day ..." her brow grew darker; she took my hand and
pressed it hard. "Tell me, will you ever forget me? Will you always
remember me?"
"But why such talk? What is it, I-, dear?"
She was silent. And her eyes were already sliding past me, through
me, away into the distance. I suddenly heard the wind beating the
glass with its enormous wings. Of course it had been blowing all the
while but I had not noticed it until then. And for some reason those
cawing birds over the Green Wall came to my mind.
I-330 shook her head with a gesture of throwing something off. Once
more she touched me for a second with her whole body, as an aero
before landing touches the ground for a second with all the tension
of a recoiling spring.
"Well, give me my stockings, quick!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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