"Who is it? What is the matter? What--" R-13 turned around; his
sprinkling lips were trembling. He apparently thought it was one of
the Guardians.
"What? I do not want--I won't allow--Put her down at once!"
But he only sprinkled angrily with his lips, shook his head and ran
on. Then I ... I am terribly ashamed to write all this down but I
believe I must, so that you, my unknown readers, may make a complete
study of my disease.... Then I hit him over the head with all my
might. You understand? I hit him. This I remember distinctly. I
remember also a feeling of liberation that followed my action, a
feeling of lightness in my whole body.
I-330 slid quickly out of his arms.
"Go away!" she shouted to R-, "Don't you see that he--? Go!"
R-13 showed his white negro teeth, sprinkled into my face some word,
dived down and disappeared. And I picked up I-330, pressed her
firmly to myself and carried her away.
My heart was beating forcibly. It seemed enormous. And with every
beat it would splash out such a thundering, such a hot, such a
joyful wave! A flash: "Let them, below there, let them toss and rush
and yell and fall; what matter if something has fallen, if something
has been shattered to dust?-- Little matter! Only to remain this way
and carry her, carry and carry...."
_The Same Evening, Twenty-two o'Clock._
I hold my pen with great difficulty. Such an extraordinary fatigue
after all the dizzying events of this morning. Is it possible that
the strong, salutary, centuries-old walls of the United State have
fallen? Is it possible that we are again without a roof over our
heads, back in the wild state of freedom like our remote ancestors?
Is it possible that we have lost our Well-Doer? "Opposed!" On the
Day of Unanimity--opposed! I am ashamed of _them_, painfully,
fearfully ashamed.... But who are "they"? And who am I? "They,"
"We"...? Do I know?
I shall continue.
She was sitting where I had brought her on the uppermost glass bench
which was hot from the sun. Her right shoulder and the beginning of
the wonderful and incalculable curve were uncovered,--an exceedingly
thin serpent of blood. She seemed not to be aware of the blood, or
that her breast was uncovered. No, I will say rather: she seemed
to see all that and seemed to feel that it was essential to her,
that if her unif were buttoned she would have torn it, she would
have....
"And tomorrow!" She breathed the words through sparkling white
clenched teeth, "Tomorrow, nobody knows what ... do you understand?
Neither I nor anyone else knows; it is unknown! Do you realize what
a joy it is? Do you realize that all that was certain has come to an
end? Now ... things will be new, improbable, unforeseen!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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