New York (State) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Meanwhile Kedzie sold candy and ate less and less of it. She began to
see more pretentious phases of city life and to be discontent with her
social triumph. She began to understand how cheap her lovers were.
She called them “mutts.” She came to suffer agonies of remorse at the
liberties she had given them.
Mr. Kalteyer, the chewing-gum prince, in an effort to overcome the
handicap of weight and age which Mr. Hoke did not carry, told Kedzie
that her picture ought to be on every counter in the world, and he could
get it there. He'd love to see her presented as a classy dame showing
her ivories and proving how “beneficiary” his chewing-gum was for the
teeth as well as the digestion.
Kedzie told the delicatessen merchant's wife all about his glorious
promises, and she said, very sagely:
“Bevare vit dose bo'quet fellers. Better as so many roses is it he
should brink you a slice roastbif once. Lengwidge of flowers is nice,
but money is de svell talker. Take it by me, money is de svell talker!”
Kedzie was glad of such wisdom, and she convinced Mr. Kalteyer that it
took more than conversation to buy her favor. He kept his word under
some duress, and took Kedzie to Mr. Eben E. Kiam, a manufacturer of
show-cards and lithographs, with an advertising agency besides.
Mr. Edam studied her poses and smiles for days before he got her at her
best. An interested observer and a fertile suggester in his office was
a young Mr. Gilfoyle, who wrote legends for show-cards, catch-lines for
new wares, and poems, if pressed.
Gilfoyle had the poet's prophetic eye, and he murmured to Mr. Kiam that
there were millions in “Miss Adair's” face and form if they were worked
right. He took pains to let Kedzie overhear this. It pleased her.
Millions were something she decided she would like.
Gilfoyle developed wonderfully in the sun of Kedzie's interest. He told
Kalteyer that there was no money in handling chewing-gum in a small
way as a piker; what he wanted was a catchy name, a special
selling-argument, and a national publicity campaign. He advised Kalteyer
to borrow a lot of money at the banks and sling himself.
Kalteyer breathed hard. Gilfoyle was assailed by an epilepsy of
inspirations. In place of “Kalteyer's Peerless Gum,” he proposed the
enthralling title, “Breathasweeta.” Others had mixed pepsin in their
edible rubber goods of various flavors. Gilfoyle proposed perfume!
Kalteyer was astounded at the boy's genius. He praised him till Kedzie
began to think him worth cultivation, especially as he proposed to flood
the country with portraits of Kedzie as the Breathasweeta Girl.
The muse of advertising swooped down and whispered to Gilfoyle the
delicious lines to be printed under Kedzie's smile.
Kiss me again. Who are you?
You use Breathasweeta. You must be all right.
Kalteyer was swept off his feet. He ran to the bank while Kiam raised
Gilfoyle's salary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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