“Nonsense,” replied the father, angrily. “Have not I taught all my life,
preached twice a Sunday these thirty years without perplexing myself
with your questionings? Be off to your shooting, and your golf, and let
me have no more of this morbid fuss.”
No more was said; but Luke Raeburn, with his doubts and questions shut
thus into himself, drifted rapidly from skepticism to the most positive
form of unbelief. When he next came home for the long vacation, his
father was at length awakened to the fact that the son, upon whom all
his ambition was set, was hopelessly lost to the Church; and with this
consciousness a most bitter sense of disappointment rose in his heart.
His pride, the only side of fatherhood which he possessed, was deeply
wounded, and his dreams of honorable distinction were laid low. His
wrath was great. Luke found the home made almost unbearable to him. His
college career was of course at an end, for his father would not hear
of providing him with the necessary funds now that he had actually
confessed his atheism. He was hardly allowed to speak to his sisters,
every request for money to start him in some profession met with a sharp
refusal, and matters were becoming so desperate that he would probably
have left the place of his own accord before long, had not Mr. Raeburn
himself put an end to a state of things which had grown insufferable.
With some lurking hope, perhaps, of convincing his son, he resolved
upon trying a course of argument. To do him justice he really tried to
prepare himself for it, dragged down volumes of dusty divines, and got
up with much pains Paley's “watch” argument. There was some honesty,
even perhaps a very little love, in his mistaken endeavors; but he did
not recognize that while he himself was unforgiving, unloving, harsh,
and self-indulgent, all his arguments for Christianity were of necessity
null and void. He argued for the existence of a perfectly loving, good
God, all the while treating his son with injustice and tyranny. Of
course there could be only one result from a debate between the
two. Luke Raeburn with his honesty, his great abilities, his gift of
reasoning, above all his thorough earnestness, had the best of it.
To be beaten in argument was naturally the one thing which such a man as
Mr. Raeburn could not forgive. He might in time have learned to tolerate
a difference of opinion, he would beyond a doubt have forgiven almost
any of the failings that he could understand, would have paid his son's
college debts without a murmur, would have overlooked anything connected
with what he considered the necessary process of “sowing his wild oats.”
But that the fellow should presume to think out the greatest problems in
the world, should set up his judgment against Paley's, and worst of
all should actually and palpably beat HIM in argument--this was an
unpardonable offense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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