“Nothing,” replied Erica, not daring to venture more; for, if she had
tried to speak, she knew she must have burst into tears.
But there was as much pain expressed in her voice as she spoke that one
word as there had been in all her father's outburst. It appealed to
him at once. He said no more, but stepped out of the French window, and
began to pace to an fro under the veranda.
Erica did not stir; she was like one crushed. Sad and harassed as
her life had been, it yet seemed to her that she had never known such
indescribably bitter pain. The outside world looked bright and sunshiny;
she could see the waves breaking on the shore, while beyond, sailing
out into the wide expanse was a brown-sailed fishing boat. Every now
and then her vision was interrupted by a tall, dark figure pacing to
and fro; every now and then the sunlight glinted on snow-white hair, and
then a fresh stab of pain awoke in her heart.
The brown-sailed fishing boat dwindled into a tiny dark spot on the
horizon, the sea tossed and foamed and sparked in the sunshine. Erica
turned away; she could not bear to look at it, for just now it seemed to
her merely the type of the terrible separation which had arisen between
herself and her father. She felt as if she were being borne away in the
little fishing boat, while he was left on the land, and the distance
between them slowly widened and widened.
All through that grievous conversation she had held in her hand a little
bit of mignonette. She had held it unconsciously; it was withered
and drooping, its sweetness seemed to her now sickly and hateful. She
identified it with her pain, and years after the smell of mignonette was
intolerable to her. She would have thrown it away, but remembered that
her father had given it her. And then, with the recollection of her
birthday gift, came the realization of all the long years of unbroken
and perfect love, so rudely interrupted today. Was it always to be like
this? Must they drift further and further apart?
Her heart was almost breaking; she had endured to the very uttermost,
when at length comfort came. The sword had only come to bring the higher
peace. No terrible sea of division could part those whom love could bind
together. The peace of God stole once more into her heart.
“How loud soe'er the world may roar, We know love will be conqueror.”
Meanwhile Raeburn paced to and fro in grievous pain The fact that his
pain could scarcely perhaps have been comprehended by the generality of
people did not make it less real or less hard to bear. A really honest
atheist, who is convinced that Christianity is false and misleading,
suffers as much at the sight of what he considers a mischievous belief
as a Christian would suffer while watching a service in some heathen
temple. Rather his pain would be greater, for his belief in the gradual
progress of his creed is shadowy and dim compared with the Christian's
conviction that the “Saviour of all men” exists.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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