_Cam._ That noblemen bowl booty?[22] faith, his cheek Hath a most excellent bias; it would fain Jump with my mistress.[23] _Flam._ Will you be an ass, Despite your Aristotle? or a cuckold, Contrary to your Ephemerides, Which shows you under what a smiling planet You were first swaddled? _Cam._ Pew-wew, sir, tell not me Of planets nor of Ephemerides: A man may be made a cuckold in the day-time, When the stars' eyes are out. _Flam._ Sir, God b' wi' you; I do commit you to your pitiful pillow Stuffed with horn-shavings. _Cam._ Brother,-- _Flam._ God refuse me, Might I advise you now, your only course Were to lock up your wife. _Cam._ 'Twere very good. _Flam._ Bar her the sight of revels. _Cam._ Excellent. _Flam._ Let her not go to church, but like a hound In lyam[24] at your heels. _Cam._ 'Twere for her honour. _Flam._ And so you should be certain in one fortnight Despite her chastity or innocence, To be cuckolded, which yet is in suspense: This is my counsel, and I ask no fee for't. _Cam._ Come, you know not where my night-cap wrings me. _Flam._ Wear it o' the old fashion; let your large ears come through, it will be more easy:--nay, I will be bitter:--bar your wife of her entertainment: women are more willingly and more gloriously chaste when they are least restrained of their liberty. It seems you would be a fine capricious mathematically jealous coxcomb; take the height of your own horns with a Jacob's staff[25] afore they are up. These politic inclosures for paltry mutton make more rebellion in the flesh than all the provocative electuaries doctors have uttered[26] since last jubilee. _Cam._ This doth not physic me. _Flam._ It seems you are jealous: I'll show you the error of it by a familiar example. I have seen a pair of spectacles fashioned with such perspective art, that, lay down but one twelve pence o' the board, 'twill appear as if there were twenty; now, should you wear a pair of these spectacles, and see your wife tying her shoe, you would imagine twenty hands were taking up of your wife's clothes, and this would put you into a horrible causeless fury. _Cam._ The fault there, sir, is not in the eyesight. _Flam._ True; but they that have the yellow jaundice think all objects they look on to be yellow. Jealousy is worser; her fits present to a man, like so many bubbles in a bason of water, twenty several crabbed faces; many times makes his own shadow his cuckold-maker. See, she comes. _Re-enter_ VITTORIA COROMBONA.