English drama -- 17th century; English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Law._ Most literated judges, please your lordships
So to connive your judgments to the view
Of this debauched and diversivolent woman;
Who such a black concatenation
Of mischief hath effected, that to extirp
The memory of't, must be the consummation
Of her and her projections,--
_Vit. Cor._ What's all this?
_Law._ Hold your peace:
Exorbitant sins must have exulceration.
_Vit. Cor._ Surely, my lords, this lawyer here hath swallowed
Some pothecaries' bills, or proclamations;
And now the hard and undigestible words
Come up, like stones we use give hawks for physic;
Why, this is Welsh to Latin.
_Law._ My lords, the woman
Knows not her tropes nor figures, nor is perfect
In the academic derivation
Of grammatical elocution.
_Fran. de Med._ Sir, your pains
Shall be well spared, and your deep eloquence
Be worthily applauded amongst those
Which understand you.
_Law._ My good lord,--
_Fran. de Med._ Sir,
Put up your papers in your fustian bag,--
[FRANCISCO _speaks this as in scorn._
Cry mercy, sir, 'tis buckram--and accept
My notion of your learned verbosity.
_Law._ I most graduatically thank your lordship:
I shall have use for them elsewhere.
_Mont._ I shall be plainer with you, and paint out
Your follies in more natural red and white
Than that upon your cheek. [_To_ VITTORIA.
_Vit. Cor._ O you mistake:
You raise a blood as noble in this cheek
As ever was your mother's.
_Mont._ I must spare you, till proof cry "whore" to that.--
Observe this creature here, my honoured lords,
A woman of a most prodigious spirit,
In her effected.
_Vit. Cor._ Honourable my lord,
It doth not suit a reverend cardinal
To play the lawyer thus.
_Mont._ O, your trade instructs your language.--
You see, my lords, what goodly fruit she seems;
Yet, like those apples[47] travellers report
To grow where Sodom and Gomorrah stood,
I will but touch her, and you straight shall see
She'll fall to soot and ashes.
_Vit. Cor._ Your envenomed
Pothecary should do't.
_Mont._ I am resolved,[48]
Were there a second Paradise to lose,
This devil would betray it.
_Vit. Cor._ O poor charity!
Thou art seldom found in scarlet.
_Mont._ Who knows not how, when several night by night
Her gates were choked with coaches, and her rooms
Outbraved the stars with several kind of lights;
When she did counterfeit a prince's court
In music, banquets, and most riotous surfeits?
This whore, forsooth, was holy.
_Vit. Cor._ Ha! whore! what's that!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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