English drama -- 17th century; English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Vit. Cor._ I discern poison
Under your gilded pills.
_Mont._ Now the duke's gone, I will produce a letter,
Wherein 'twas plotted he and you should meet
At an apothecary's summer-house,
Down by the river Tiber,--view't, my lords,--
Where, after wanton bathing and the heat
Of a lascivious banquet,--I pray read it,
I shame to speak the rest.
_Vit. Cor._ Grant I was tempted;
Temptation to lust proves not the act:
_Casta est quam nemo rogavit._[53]
You read his hot love to me, but you want
My frosty answer.
_Mont._ Frost i' the dog-days! strange!
_Vit. Cor._ Condemn you me for that the duke did love me!
So may you blame some fair and crystal river
For that some melancholic distracted man
Hath drowned himself in't.
_Mont._ Truly drowned, indeed.
_Vit. Cor._ Sum up my faults, I pray, and you shall find,
That beauty, and gay clothes, a merry heart,
And a good stomach to a feast, are all,
All the poor crimes that you can charge me with.
In faith, my lord, you might go pistol flies;
The sport would be more noble.
_Mont._ Very good.
_Vit. Cor._ But take you your course: it seems you have beggared me first,
And now would fain undo me. I have houses,
Jewels, and a poor remnant of crusadoes:[54]
Would those would make you charitable!
_Mont._ If the devil
Did ever take good shape, behold his picture.
_Vit. Cor._ You have one virtue left,--
You will not flatter me.
_Fran. de Med._ Who brought this letter?
_Vit. Cor._ I am not compelled to tell you.
_Mont._ My lord duke sent to you a thousand ducats
The twelfth of August.
_Vit. Cor._ 'Twas to keep your cousin
From prison: I paid use for't.
_Mont._ I rather think
'Twas interest for his lust.
_Vit. Cor._ Who says so
But yourself? if you be my accuser,
Pray, cease to be my judge: come from the bench;
Give in your evidence 'gainst me, and let these
Be moderators. My lord cardinal,
Were your intelligencing ears as loving
As to my thoughts, had you an honest tongue,
I would not care though you proclaimed them all.
_Mont._ Go to, go to.
After your goodly and vain-glorious banquet,
I'll give you a choke-pear.
_Vit. Cor._ O' your own grafting?
_Mont._ You were born in Venice, honourably descended
From the Vittelli: 'twas my cousin's fate,--
Ill may I name the hour,--to marry you:
He bought you of your father.
_Vit. Cor._ Ha!
_Mont._ He spent there in six months
Twelve thousand ducats, and (to my acquaintance)
Received in dowry with you not one julio:[55]
'Twas a hard pennyworth, the ware being so light.
I yet but draw the curtain now to your picture:
You came from thence a most notorious strumpet,
And so you have continued.
_Vit. Cor._ My lord,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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