I wonder if any man is as clever as he imagines himself. I know I have not the confidence in myself I had a month ago as an amateur cook. I think it was my friend Davidson who first put the idea in my head to try my hand at cooking. The way he would describe the cooking of steaks on his yacht would make any one's mouth water, and it seemed to be always steaks they had. I asked him how he learned to cook, and he gave me the secret in one lesson. He said, "You just use plenty butter; that's how women can't cook properly: they grudge butter." It is five or six years since he first told me about his wonderful powers as a cook, and every time he has repeated his achievements--which has not been seldom--I have longed for an opportunity to distinguish myself, possessed as I was with the key to cooking. Davidson always got quite enthusiastic on this subject. He would say, "Man, when it was my turn, the fellows could hardly be kept on deck after the onions began to brown and the smell went up; and the doctor used to stand with a big rolling-pin to keep Jamie and the rest of them back, and every minute they would be crying down that it would do fine." I don't know anything about yachting, and any time I have been over two hours at sea I had no taste for food. I always had more than I wanted. I remember going to Dublin, and at breakfast a tureen of ham and eggs was placed beside me, but by the time I had helped the company I had to go on deck and admire the prospect. An idea occurred to me, however, to get some companions to join me on a holiday with a caravan. "I would attend to the cooking," I said; but I never got any one to agree. I believe now if I had promoted each one to the office of cook I would have been successful, for I think every man--who has not tried it--is sure he is a born cook. "Everything comes to him who waits"; and I got an opportunity to try my skill last month. It came about in this way: we had taken a house in the country for August; and as the date approached, I found that business would prevent me from getting away for about a week. "But that need not prevent you and the girls from going," I said to my wife. "There's no use of having the house empty." "But what will you do for food?" she said. "Oh! I can easily make my breakfast, and I can dine at the club if necessary." After some talking, I got them persuaded to leave me. "Well," said my wife, "I must tell you where the things are. The tea is in a japanned box on the kitchen dresser. You put in a teaspoonful for yourself and a spoonful to the teapot." I wondered why the teapot should have equal shares with me, but said nothing, as Davidson had not said anything about tea.