'I dinna suppose she wud ha'e treated ye excep' she had mair money nor brains.' 'She wud pairt wi' her last farden for ma sake!' 'Ach, awa' an' eat grass! It's weel seen that men are scarce the noo.' 'Mind wha ye're insultin'!' 'I'm gaun up to the billet.' Macgregor said, shortly, and walked off. Presently, Willie, a new idea in his busy brain, overtook him. 'Macgreegor, if ye len' me thruppence the noo, I'll ca' it a bargain aboot the twa bob.' He got the pennies then, and on the following day a florin, upon which he took a solemn oath. But as he fingered the silver later he smiled secretly and almost serenely. If the fat girl had stood him a substantial meal, cigarettes and a picture entertainment for nothing, what might not he expect as a return for the squandering of two shillings? As for Macgregor, his motives were probably not unmixed: the pleasure which he foresaw for the poor, fat girl was contingent on the agony of Willie while spending good money on a person other than himself. However, Willie was not long in securing a late pass, and went upon his jaunt in an apparently chastened state of mind, though in the best possible humour. He returned in the worst possible. 'Twa bob clean wasted,' he grunted, squatting down by Macgregor's bed. 'I wish to ---- I had flung it in the Clyde when we was crossin' the brig.' 'What gaed wrang?' inquired Macgregor, rubbing his eyes. 'Did she no like yer treat?' 'I'll warrant she did!' 'What did ye buy her wi' the twa bob?' Willie sniffed at his recollections. 'Like a ---- goat,' said he, 'I askit her what she wud like best for twa bob, me thinkin' naterally she wud say a feed to stairt wi'. I was ready for a feed masel'. But she squeezed ma airm an' shoved her big face intil mines, an' said she wud like a sooveneer best. To blazes wi' sooveneers! An' she dragged me awa' to a shop, an' I had to buy her a silly-like wee tie that cost me eichteen-pence-ha'penny; an' then she wanted a lang ride on the caur, an' that burst fivepence; an' she nabbed the remainin' bawbee for a keepsake.' The reciter paused as if from exhaustion. 'Hurry up!' said Macgregor encouragingly. 'What did she gi'e you?' 'A ---- kiss up a ---- close! To pot wi' kissin'! An' then she said she was afraid her mither wud be waitin' the ham an' egg supper for her, so she wud need to run, an' she was vexed she couldna meet me again because she had been hearin' I was a terrible bad character. An' then, takin' advantage o' ma surprise, she done a bunk. . . . An' if ever I ha'e ony mair truck wi' weemen, may I be ----' 'She wasna as saft as I fancied she was,' remarked Macgregor in an uncertain voice. 'So ye wud jist gang to yer aunt's for yer supper, efter a'?' 'Ay! An' the auld cat was oot at a prayer-meetin'. I ha'ena had a bite in ma mooth since denner-time. Ha'e ye onything o' yer uncle's handy?' 'I can gi'e ye a wee tin o' corned beef, Wullie. Ye ken whaur to find it.'