Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
'Ye should leave the weemen alane, an' then ye wud ha'e time to
spare.'
'What ha'e ye got to speak aboot?' Macgregor impatiently demanded,
though he was in good time for his appointment.
'I was thinkin' o' enlistin',' said Willie.
'Oh!' cried his friend, interested. 'Ye've changed yer mind,
Wullie?'
'I've been conseederin' it for a while back. Ye needna think _you_
had onything to dae wi' it,' said Willie.
'Ye've been drinkin' beer,' his friend remarked, not accusingly,
but merely by way of stating a fact.
'So wud you, if ye had ma aunt.'
'Maybe I wud,' Macgregor sympathetically admitted.
'But ye couldna droon her in twa hauf pints. Ach, I'm fed up wi'
her. She startit yatterin' at me the nicht because I askit her for
saxpence; so at last I tell't her I wud suner jine Kitchener's nor
see her ugly face for anither week.'
'What did she say?'
'Said it was the first guid notion ever I had.'
'Weel,' said Macgregor eagerly, after a slight pause, 'since ye're
for enlistin', ye'd best dae it the nicht, Wullie.'
'I suppose I micht as weel jine your lot,' said Willie, carelessly.
Macgregor drew himself up. 'The 9th H.L.I, doesna accep' onything
that offers.'
'I'm as guid as you--an' I'm bigger nor you.'
'Ye're bigger, but ye're peely-wally. Still, Wullie, I wud like
fine to see ye in ma company.'
'Ye've a neck on ye! _Your_ company! . . . Aweel, come on an' see
me dae it.'
In the dusk Macgregor peered at his watch. It told him that the
thing could not be done, not if he ran both ways. 'I canna manage
it, Wullie,' he said, with honest regret.
'Then it's off,' the contrary William declared.
'What's off?'
'I've changed ma mind. I'm no for the sojerin'.'
At this Macgregor bristled, so to speak. He could stand being
'codded,' but already the Army was sacred to him.
'See here, Wullie, will ye gang an' enlist noo or tak' a hammerin'?'
'Wha'll gi'e me the hammerin'?'
'Come an' see,' was the curt reply. Macgregor turned back into the
close and led the way to a small yard comprising some sooty earth,
several blades of grass and a couple of poles for the support of
clothes lines. A little light came from windows above. Here he
removed his jacket, hung it carefully on a pole; and began to roll
up his sleeves.
'It's ower dark here,' Willie complained. 'I canna see.'
'Ye can feel. Tak' aff yer coat.' Willie knew that despite his
inches he was a poor match for the other, yet he was a stubborn
chap. 'What business is it o' yours whether I enlist or no?' he
scowled.
'Will ye enlist?'
'I'll see ye damp first!'
'Come on, then!' Macgregor spat lightly on his palms. 'I've nae
time to waste.'
Willie cast his jacket on the ground. 'I'll wrastle ye,' he said,
with a gleam of hope.
'Thenk ye; but I'm no for dirtyin' ma guid claes. Come on!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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