"I tried so hard to please you, but somehow I always failed.
And then the baby came--our baby--and you did not care for
him; and then, indeed, I thought my heart would break. I
wonder if you know how I have loved you? I was not too young
for that, though you thought I was. I never lay down to sleep
without praying God to bless my dear husband, and
sometimes--was it very childish of me, I wonder?--I put baby's
hands together and made believe he was praying too.
"I think if you knew what I suffered, when they thought I was
dying, and the angels would not come for me; I think--yes, I
do think, Hugh--you would have been sorry for me then.
"Good-bye, my darling--I shall never call you that again, for
I am going away forever. You must not trouble about me, for I
shall take great care of myself, and after a time I shall not
fret so much. I shall take my baby--he can not do without me,
and I love him so. When he is older I will send him back to
you. He is so like you, dear--a Redmond all over--and his eyes
will remind me of you.
"I shall say good-bye to you very quietly. When I try to speak
there is a dreadful lump in my throat that seems to choke me;
and I feel as though I could blush with shame for being so
little and insignificant in your eyes. You are like a king to
me, Hugh; so grand, and noble, and proud. Oh, what made you
marry me? You did wrong there, darling, did you not?
"Good-bye, good-bye. I shall be quite lost. Do not look for
me; only give me a thought now and then--one kind and gentle
thought of your Wee Wifie."
She read through the letter dry-eyed, and kissed it, and laid it on
the table. It would touch his hands, she thought. Later on she
unsealed it, and added a short postscript. "Do not be anxious," it
said; "I am going to some kind people who will be good to me and the
boy."
She had placed the letter where Hugh would see it at once, and then
she went upstairs. She wanted to have her baby in her arms, that its
touch might lull the deadly faintness at her heart; and when she felt
a little better she sent for Mrs. Heron and Janet.
Sir Hugh had gone off to London, she told them; they had telegraphed
for him, and she was to follow him immediately. She would take her
luggage with her, of course, for she did not intend to return to the
Hall before going down into Devonshire; but they would see Sir Hugh
again for a few hours--he would probably run up the following evening
to give his final orders.
And would she be long away? asked Mrs. Heron. She thought my lady
looked very ill, and required a thorough change.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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