Could any one imagine anything so utterly ignorant and childish, and
yet so pathetic? She was going to lay down her wifely rights and steal
away, friendless and unprotected, into the great lonely world, so that
Hugh might come back to his old home in peace.
With the rash impulse of despair--of a despair that hoped nothing and
feared nothing--she was taking the most terrible step that a young
creature could take. She was doing evil that good might come; she was
giving up herself in complete renunciation and self-sacrifice in
obedience to a miserable and mistaken idea. If she had been older; if
her simplicity of character had been less childish, and her worldly
knowledge greater, she must surely have hesitated before taking a step
that must anger as well as grieve her husband. How would Sir Hugh's
haughty spirit brook the disgrace of publicity and the nine-days'
wonder of the world when they knew that his wife, Lady Redmond--the
successor of all the starched and spotless dames who hung in the old
guest-chambers--should so forget herself and him as to tarnish his
reputation by an act so improper and incredible.
He might forgive his spoiled trip, and all the trouble that awaited
him in his empty home; but how will he ever bring himself to forgive
that?
But Fay, poor mistaken child, thought of none of these things. She
only felt that she must go and take her baby with her. There was no
time to be lost, and she must make all her plans very quickly.
Fay's will was a strong one--there was no fear that she would falter
in her purpose; but she never remembered afterward how she carried it
out, or from whence came the strange feverish energy that supported
her. She was working in a dream, in a nightmare, in a horrible
impatience to be gone--to be gone--where? But even this question was
answered before many hours were over, for she was to make her poor
little plans with the utmost precision. In the quiet evening time, as
she paced restlessly through the empty rooms, she thought of a place
of refuge where she might rest safely for a little. The moment the
carriage had turned the corner, and she could see it no longer, she
had taken the letter from the drawer and laid it on the table.
Such an innocent, pitiful little letter it was.
"Darling Hugh," it began, "do not be angry with me when you
come back to-morrow and find your Wee Wifie has gone. What
could I do--how could I stay any longer after reading your own
words? Indeed, I think I could have borne anything but this.
No, this one thing I could not bear--that you should leave
your home and country to free yourself and me.
"'You must go,' you say; 'of course it must be you.' Darling,
do you not know me better than that?
"I felt you could not love me, Hugh; but have I ever blamed
you in my heart? I was too childish and young for such a man
as you. Why did you marry me, dear?--that was a great mistake.
But perhaps you saw I liked you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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