But pity and instinctive recoil from pain were by no means all the
elements of the impulse moving Hester in this direction. An honest and
active mind such as hers could not have carried her so often to church
and for so long a time, whatever might be the nature of the direct
teaching she there received, without gaining some glimpses of the
mightiest truth of our being, that we belong to God in actual fact of
spiritual property and profoundest relationship. She had much to learn
in this direction yet--as who has not who is ages in advance of
life?--but this night came back to her, as it had often already
returned, the memory of a sermon she had heard some twelve months before
on the text, "Glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are
God's." It was a dull enough sermon, yet not so dull but it enabled her
to supply in some degree its own lack; and when she went out of the dark
church into the sunshine,--and heard the birds singing as if they knew
without any St. Francis to tell them that their bodies and their spirits
were God's, a sense awoke in her such as she had not had before, that
the grand voice lying like an unborn angel in the chest and throat of
her, belonged not to herself but to God, and must be used in some way
for the working of his will in the world which as well as the voice he
had made. She had no real notion yet of what is meant by the glory of
God. She had not quite learned that simplest of high truths that the
glory of God is the beauty of Christ's face. She had a lingering idea--a
hideously frightful one, though its vagueness kept it in great measure
from injuring her--that the One only good, the One only unselfish
thought a great deal of himself, and looked strictly after his rights in
the way of homage. Hence she thought first of devoting the splendor and
richness of her voice to swell the song of some church-choir. With her
notion of God and of her relation to him, how could she yet have escaped
the poor pagan fancy--good for a pagan, but beggarly for a Christian,
that church and its goings-on are a serving of God? She had not begun to
ask how these were to do God any good--or if my reader objects to the
phrase, I will use a common one saying the same thing--how these were to
do anything for God. She had not begun to see that God is the one great
servant of all, and that the only way to serve him is to be a
fellow-servant with him--to be, say, a nurse in his nursery, and tend
this or that lonely, this or that rickety child of his. She had not yet
come to see that it is as absurd to call song and prayer a serving of
God, as it would be to say the thief on the cross did something for
Christ in consenting to go with him to paradise. But now some dim
perception of this truth began to wake in her. Vaguely she began to feel
that perhaps God had given her this voice and this marriage of delight
and power in music and song for some reason like that for which he had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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