|It had fallen to her lot to write to Claude Westwood the letter which
told him of the death of the brother to whom he had all his life been
devoted. She knew that a telegraphic message had been sent to the Consul
at Zanzibar respecting the death of Richard Westwood, the day after the
news of the safety of Claude had reached England, so that he would not
receive the first shock of the terrible news from her. She had done her
best in her letter to comfort him--indeed, every word that it contained
was designed to be a consolation to him. Why, the very sight of her
writing would make him feel that his grief was shared by at least one
friend.
The letter had not, of course, been written in the strain of the letters
which she had sent to him during the first few months after his arrival
in Africa. (Some of them had been returned to her from Zanzibar with
the inscription “Not found” on the covers.) She thought that any of the
rapturous phrases, which could give but very inadequate expression to
what was in her heart, would be out of place in a letter that she meant
to be expressive only of the deep sympathy she felt for him.
But the following week she had written to him something of what was in
her heart, She had taken up once more the strain of that correspondence
which had been so rudely interrupted, and had wondered to find how
easily the unaccustomed words of endearment slipped from her pen. It
seemed to her that her love had been accumulating in her heart through
all the years of her enforced silence, for she had never before written
to him such phrases of affection. When she had written that letter she
had a sense of relief beyond expression. The pent-up flood had at last
found a vent. She gave a great sigh as she signed, not her own name, but
the pet name which he had given her--a great sigh, and then a laugh of
delight.
But then she caught sight of herself in the looking-glass that hung
above her escritoire. It seemed to her that all her hair had become
grey--that her face had become all scarred with lines. She closed her
eyes and had a vision of the slender girl to whom that love-name had
been given. She had a vision of the sparkling eyes, the brown hair flung
back when one long shining strand had escaped from the knot in which it
had beer, tied, and fell down from her shoulder. She could see his eyes
as he turned them upon her, when he had kissed and kissed that wonderful
rivulet of hair, calling her by that love-name.
And now....
Ah, she was no longer a girl! The pet name which she had written so
lightly no longer sat lightly upon her. Would not people think it
grotesque for a woman past thirty to call herself by the name that
had once seemed so charmingly appropriate when applied to a girl of
twenty-three with a rivulet of golden brown hair flowing over her
shoulders to meet a lover's kisses?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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