To this letter Jacob Ogden made no reply. His feelings on receiving it
were, first, the most unfeigned astonishment (for he thought he had been
very attentive, and that "courtin'" had absorbed far too much of his
time); next, a paroxysm of indignation, with a sense of injury; and
then, when this subsided, a sense of relief so exquisite, so delicious,
and so complete, that nobody can have any idea of it unless at some
period of his existence a wearing and persistent anxiety has been
suddenly removed for ever. The love of Margaret Anison had been one of
those masterful passions which sometimes force the most prudent men to
folly. He had made his offer in the height of his temporary insanity,
but after the engagement had been entered upon, his old self had
gradually returned; and though he was fully determined to "go through
with it," as a business which had to be done, he by no means looked
forward to the conjugal state as an improvement upon his accustomed
life. It was like embarking on an unknown and perilous sea, in utter
ignorance of the art of navigation, and that sea might be a sea of
troubles. The complex details of married life, its endless little
duties, were perplexing to a man whose time and thoughts were already
taken up by the government of a heavy business, and the care of an
increasing estate. And now to escape from these new and unfamiliar
troubles--to remain in the old quiet life at Milend--to have full
control over his own expenditure, with no female criticism or
interference--to see his fortune growing and growing without sons to
establish or daughters to dower, or an expensive houseful of servants to
eat the bank-notes in his pocket-book like so many nattering mice,--ah!
it was sweet to him to think of this in his innermost and sincerest
self! He had loved his bachelor life well enough before, but he had
never felt the full luxury of its independence as he did now!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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