Jacob Ogden enjoyed a privilege highly favorable to happiness, but not
so favorable to moral or intellectual growth. He lived at peace with
himself, and looking back on his life, he approved of its whole course,
with the single exception of that hour of folly at Whittlecup. He felt
and believed that no man could be wiser or more perfect than he was.
When he humbly called his faculties "common-sense," he by no means
understood the word as meaning a sense which he had in common with
others, but rather a special faculty, to himself vouchsafed by the
bounteous gift of nature. He lived in absolute independence of the good
opinion of others, because his mind was at peace with itself--because he
always manfully did to-day what he was sure to approve to-morrow, or ten
years after to-morrow. Am I painting the portrait of a man of
pre-eminent virtues? Not exactly, but of a man who would have been
pre-eminently virtuous, or pre-eminently learned, if virtue or knowledge
had been his ideal. For he had a manly resolution, a steady unflinching
determination, to live up to the standard which he fixed for himself.
And the inward peace which he enjoyed was due to his obedience to the
laws of his own nature, which thus ever remained in harmony with itself
in serene strength and efficiency.
This peace had for a while been lost to him, and he had felt a strange
change and diminution in the inward satisfactions. His communings with
himself had lost their old sweetness, and he no longer masticated the
cud of contentment in the fair pastures of reflection and imagination.
To go back to those happy pastures once more--to chew that sweet cud
again, after months of privation--what a deep, strengthening, cheering,
encouraging, replenishing delight it was!
Yet there was one drawback to the plenitude of Ogden's happiness, even
though he had escaped the misery of the wedding-day. That new mansion
had been begun, he had spent £400 upon it already, and spoilt a pretty
meadow, and he had spent some money on presents for Margaret--not very
much, for his ideas on the subject of gift-making were not very large
ideas, yet still enough to plague and torment him, for the loss of a
sovereign would do that. To be jilted did not trouble him much, but to
have been cheated into wasting his money! that thought would not let him
rest. It followed and harassed him wherever he went, and it was the
cause of the following letter, which was received by Mr. Joseph
Anison:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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