Her voice had in it the grieved tones of a little child, and her eyes
were very bright with the tears quivering on her long eyelashes. Leaning
back in his chair, with his hands clasped behind his head, a position he
usually assumed when puzzled and perplexed, the rector looked at her a
moment before he spoke. He could not define to himself the nature of the
interest he took in Lucy Harcourt. He admired her greatly, and the
self-denials and generous exertions she had made to be of use to him
since Anna went away, had touched a tender chord and made her seem very
near to him. Habit with him was everything, and the past two weeks’
isolation had shown him how necessary she had become to him. She did not
satisfy his higher wants as Anna Ruthven had done. No one could ever do
that, but she amused and soothed and rested him, and made his duties
lighter by taking half of them upon herself. That she was more attached
to him than he could wish he greatly feared, for since Captain
Humphreys’ visit he had seen matters differently from what he saw them
before, and had unsparingly questioned himself as to how far he would be
answerable for her future weal or woe.
“Guilty, verily I am guilty in leading her on if I meant nothing by it,”
he had written against himself, pausing in his sermon to write it just
as Lucy came in, appealing to him to know why he had neglected her so
long.
She was very beautiful this morning, and Arthur felt his heart beat
rapidly as he looked at her, and thought any man who had not known Anna
Ruthven would be glad to gather that bright creature in his arms and
know she was his own. One long, long sigh to the memory of all he had
hoped for once,—one bitter pang as he remembered Anna and that twilight
hour in the church, and then he made a mad plunge in the dark and said:
“Lucy, do you know people are beginning to talk about my seeing you so
much?”
“Well, let them talk; who cares?” Lucy replied, with a good deal of
asperity of manner for her, for that very morning the housekeeper at
Prospect Hill had ventured to remonstrate with her for “running after
the parson.” “Pray where is the wrong? What harm can come of it?”
“None, perhaps,” Arthur replied, “if one could keep their affections
under control. But if either of us should learn to love the other very
much and the love was not reciprocated, harm would surely come of that.
At least that was the view Captain Humphreys took of the matter when he
was speaking to me about it.”
There were red spots on Lucy’s face, but her lips were very white and
the buttons on her riding-dress rose and fell rapidly with the beating
of her heart as she looked steadily at Arthur. Was he going to send her
from him,—back to the insipid life she had lived before she knew him? It
was too terrible to believe, and the great tears rolled slowly down her
cheeks. Then as a flash of pride came to her aid, she dashed them away
and said to him haughtily:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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