And Mr. Crowl had been princely--for him. Mrs. Allen thought so, too,
and lent herself to the scheme with all the persistent energy that she
could show in these matters. But, to do her justice, she really
thought she was doing what was best for Edith and all of them. She was
acting in accordance with her lifelong principle of providing for her
family, in the one way she believed in and understood. But sincerity
and singleness of purpose made her all the more dangerous as a
tempter.
In one of Edith's most discouraged moods she broached the subject and
explained Mr. Crowl's offer, for he, prudent man, had left it to her.
Edith started violently, and the project was so revolting to her that
she fled from the room. But Mrs. Allen, with her small pertinacity,
kept recurring to it at every opportunity. Though it may seem a little
strange, her mother's action did not so shock Edith as some might
expect; nor did the proposition seem so impossible as it might to some
girls. She had all her life been accustomed, through her mother, to
the idea of marrying for money, and we can get used to almost
anything.
In March their money was very low. Going to Zell and taking care of
her had involved much additional expense. She found out that her
mother had already accepted and used in part a loan of fifty dollars
from Mr. Crowl. Laura, from the long confinement of the winter, and
from living on fare too coarse and lacking in nutrition for her
delicate organization, was growing very feeble. Zell seemed in the
first stages of consumption, and would soon be a sick, helpless
burden. The chill of dread grew stronger at Edith's heart.
"Oh, can it be possible that I shall be driven to it!" she often
groaned; and she now saw, as poor Laura said, "the black hand in the
dark pushing her down." To her surprise her thoughts kept reverting to
Arden Lacey.
"What will he think of me if I do this?" she thought, with intense
bitterness. "He will tell me I was not worthy of his friendship, much
less of his love--that I deceived him;" and the thought of Arden,
after all, perhaps, had the most weight in restraining her from the
fatal step. For then, to her perverted sense of duty, this marriage
began to seem like an heroic self-sacrifice.
She had seen little of Arden since her return. He was kind and
respectful as ever, outwardly, but she saw in his deep blue eyes that
she was the divinity that he still worshipped with unfaltering
devotion, and as she once smiled at the idea of being set up as an
idol in his heart, she now began unspeakably to dread falling from her
pedestal.
One dreary day, the last of March, when sleet and rain were pouring
steadily down, and Laura was sick in her bed, and Zell moping with her
hacking cough over the fire, with Hannibal in the kitchen, Mrs. Allen
turned suddenly to Edith, and said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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