Mr. Goulden, who plumed himself that he would slip out of this bad
matrimonial speculation with such polished skill that he would leave
only flattering regret and sighs behind, under the biting satire of
Laura's words suddenly saw what a contemptible creature is the man
whom selfish policy, rather than honor and principle, governs. He had
brains enough to comprehend himself and lose his self-respect then and
there, as he went away tingling with shame from the girl whom he had
wronged, but who had detected his sordid meanness. Sigh after him! She
would ever despise him, and that hurt Mr. Goulden's vanity severely.
He had come very near loving Laura Allen, about as near perhaps as he
ever would come to loving any one, and it had cost him a little more
to give her up than to choose between a good and a bad venture on the
Street. With compressed lips he had said to himself--"No gushing
sentiment. In carrying out your purpose to be rich you must marry
wealth." Therefore he had gone to make what he meant to be his final
call, feeling quite heroic in his steadfastness--his loyalty to
purpose, that is, himself. But as he recalled during his homeward walk
her glad welcome, her wistful, pleading looks, and then, as she
realized the truth, her pain, her contempt, and her meaning words of
scorn, his miserable egotism was swept aside, and for the first time
the selfish man saw the question from her standpoint, and as we have
said he was not so shallow but that he saw and loathed himself. He
lost his self-respect as he never had done before, and therefore to a
certain extent his power ever to be happy again.
Small men, full of petty conceit, can recover from any wounds upon
their vanity, but proud and large-minded men have a self-respect, even
though based upon questionable foundation. It is essential to them,
and losing it they are inwardly wretched. As soldiers carry the
painful scars of some wounds through life, so Mr. Goulden would find
that Laura's words had left a sore place while memory lasted.
Mr. Van Dam quite disarmed Edith's suspicions and prejudices by being
more friendly and intimate with Zell than ever, and the latter was
happy and exultant in the fact, saying, with much elation, that her
friend was "not a mercenary wretch, like Mr. Goulden, but remained
just as true and kind as ever."
It was evident that this attention and show of kindness to the warm-hearted girl made a deep impression and greatly increased Mr. Van
Dam's power over her. But Edith's suspicion and dislike began to
return as she saw more of the manner and spirit of the man. She
instinctively felt that he was bad and designing.
One day she quite incensed Zell, who was chanting his praises, by
saying:
"I haven't any faith in him. What has he done to show real friendship
for us? He comes here only to amuse himself with you; Gus Elliot is
the only one who has been of any help."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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