What Every Woman KnowsBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
What Every Woman Knows
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
[The others decide to take it hot, and there is some careful business
here with the toddy ladles.]
ALICK. Here’s to you, and your career.
JOHN. Thank you. To you, Miss Maggie. Had we not better draw up a legal
document? Lawyer Crosbie could do it on the quiet.
DAVID. Should we do that, or should we just trust to one another’s
honour?
ALICK [gallantly]. Let Maggie decide.
MAGGIE. I think we would better have a legal document.
DAVID. We’ll have it drawn up to-morrow. I was thinking the best way
would be for to pay the money in five yearly instalments.
JOHN. I was thinking, better bank the whole sum in my name at once.
ALICK. I think David’s plan’s the best.
JOHN. I think not. Of course if it’s not convenient to you--
DAVID [touched to the quick]. It’s perfectly convenient. What do you
say, Maggie?
MAGGIE. I agree with John.
DAVID [with an odd feeling that MAGGIE is now on the other side]. Very
well.
JOHN. Then as that’s settled I think I’ll be stepping. [He is putting
his papers back in the bag.]
ALICK [politely]. If you would like to sit on at your books--
JOHN. As I can come at any orra time now I think I’ll be stepping.
[MAGGIE helps him into his topcoat.]
MAGGIE. Have you a muffler, John?
JOHN. I have. [He gets it from his pocket.]
MAGGIE. You had better put it twice round. [She does this for him.]
DAVID. Well, good-night to you, Mr. Shand.
ALICK. And good luck.
JOHN. Thank you. The same to you. And I’ll cry in at your office in the
morning before the 6:20 is due.
DAVID. I’ll have the document ready for you. [There is the awkward pause
that sometimes follows great events.] I think, Maggie, you might see Mr.
Shand to the door.
MAGGIE. Certainly. [JOHN is going by the window.] This way, John.
[She takes him off by the more usual exit.]
DAVID. He’s a fine frank fellow; and you saw how cleverly he got the
better of me about banking the money. [As the heads of the conspirators
come gleefully together] I tell you, father, he has a grand business
head.
ALICK. Lads, he’s canny. He’s cannier than any of us.
JAMES. Except maybe Maggie. He has no idea what a remarkable woman
Maggie is.
ALICK. Best he shouldn’t know. Men are nervous of remarkable women.
JAMES. She’s a long time in coming back.
DAVID [not quite comfortable]. It’s a good sign. H’sh. What sort of a
night is it, Maggie?
MAGGIE. It’s a little blowy.
[She gets a large dustcloth which is lying folded on a shelf,
and proceeds to spread it over the fine chair. The men exchange
self-conscious glances.]
DAVID [stretching himself]. Yes--well, well, oh yes. It’s getting late.
What is it with you, father?
ALICK. I’m ten forty-two.
JAMES. I’m ten-forty.
DAVID. Ten forty-two.
[They wind up their watches.]
MAGGIE. It’s high time we were bedded. [She puts her hands on their
shoulders lovingly, which is the very thing they have been trying to
avoid.] You’re very kind to me.
DAVID. Havers.
ALICK. Havers.
JAMES [but this does not matter]. Havers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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