What Every Woman KnowsBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
What Every Woman Knows
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
JOHN. ‘I call upon the Front Bench, sir, loyally but firmly’--
COMTESSE. Firm again!
JOHN. --‘either to accept my Bill, or to promise WITHOUT DELAY to bring
in one of their own; and if they decline to do so I solemnly warn them
that though I will not press the matter to a division just now’--
COMTESSE. Ahem!
JOHN. ‘I will bring it forward again in the near future.’ And now
Comtesse, you know that I’m not going to divide--and not another soul
knows it.
COMTESSE. I am indeed flattered by your confidence.
JOHN. I’ve only told you because I don’t care who knows now.
COMTESSE. Oh!
[Somehow MAGGIE seems to be dissatisfied.]
MAGGIE. But why is that, John?
JOHN. I daren’t keep the Government in doubt any longer about what I
mean to do. I’ll show the whips the speech privately to-night.
MAGGIE [who still wants to know]. But not to go to a division is
hedging, isn’t it? Is that strong?
JOHN. To make the speech at all, Maggie, is stronger than most would
dare. They would do for me if I went to a division.
MAGGIE. Bark but not bite?
JOHN. Now, now, Maggie, you’re out of your depth.
MAGGIE. I suppose that’s it.
[The COMTESSE remains in the shallows.]
COMTESSE. But what will the ladies say, Mr. Shand?
JOHN. They won’t like it, Comtesse, but they’ve got to lump it.
[Here the maid appears with a card for MAGGIE, who considers it
quietly.]
JOHN. Any one of importance?
MAGGIE. No.
JOHN. Then I’m ready, Maggie.
[This is evidently an intimation that she is to open the folding-doors,
and he makes an effective entrance into the dining-room, his thumb
in his waistcoat. There is a delicious clapping of hands from the
committee, and the door closes. Not till then does MAGGIE, who has grown
thoughtful, tell her maid to admit the visitor.]
COMTESSE. Another lady, Mrs. Shand?
MAGGIE. The card says ‘Mr. Charles Venables.’
[The COMTESSE is really interested at last.]
COMTESSE. Charles Venables! Do you know him?
MAGGIE. I think I call to mind meeting one of that name at the Foreign
Office party.
COMTESSE. One of that name! He who is a Minister of your Cabinet. But as
you know him so little why should he call on you?
MAGGIE. I wonder.
[MAGGIE’s glance wanders to the drawer in which she has replaced JOHN’s
speech.]
COMTESSE. Well, well, I shall take care of you, petite.
MAGGIE. Do you know him?
COMTESSE. Do I know him! The last time I saw him he asked me
to--to--hem!--ma cherie, it was thirty years ago.
MAGGIE. Thirty years!
COMTESSE. I was a pretty woman then. I dare say I shall detest him now;
but if I find I do not--let us have a little plot--I shall drop this
book; and then perhaps you will be so charming as--as not to be here for
a little while?
[MR. VENABLES, who enters, is such a courtly seigneur that he seems to
bring the eighteenth century with him; you feel that his sedan chair is
at the door. He stoops over MAGGIE’s plebeian hand.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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