What Every Woman KnowsBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
What Every Woman Knows
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
SYBIL. One of them is married now, isn’t he? [Still there is no answer;
MAGGIE continues looking at her, and shivers slightly.] Have they
travelled from Scotland to-day? Mrs. Shand, why do you look at me so?
The door did open! [MAGGIE nods.] What are you to do?
MAGGIE. That would be telling. Sit down, my pretty.
[As SYBIL subsides into what the Wylies with one glance would call the
best chair, MAGGIE’s men-folk are brought in by JOHN, all carrying silk
hats and looking very active after their long rest in the train. They
are gazing about them. They would like this lady, they would like JOHN,
they would even like MAGGIE to go away for a little and leave them to
examine the room. Is that linen on the walls, for instance, or just
paper? Is the carpet as thick as it feels, or is there brown paper
beneath it? Had MAGGIE got anything off that bookcase on account of the
worm-hole? DAVID even discovers that we were simpletons when we said
there was nothing in the room that pretended to be what it was not. He
taps the marble mantelpiece, and is favourably impressed by the tinny
sound.]
DAVID. Very fine imitation. It’s a capital house, Maggie.
MAGGIE. I’m so glad you like it. Do you know one another? This is my
father and my brothers, Lady Sybil.
[The lovely form inclines towards them. ALICK and DAVID remain firm on
their legs, but JAMES totters.]
JAMES. A ladyship! Well done, Maggie.
ALICK [sharply]. James! I remember you, my lady.
MAGGIE. Sit down, father. This is the study.
[JAMES wanders round it inquisitively until called to order.]
SYBIL. You must be tired after your long journey.
DAVID [drawing the portraits of himself and partners in one lightning
sketch]. Tired, your ladyship? We sat on cushioned seats the whole way.
JAMES [looking about him for the chair you sit on]. Every seat in this
room is cushioned.
MAGGIE. You may say all my life is cushioned now, James, by this dear
man of mine.
[She gives JOHN’S shoulder a loving pressure, which SYBIL feels is a
telegraphic communication to herself in a cypher that she cannot read.
ALICK and the BROTHERS bask in the evidence of MAGGIE’s happiness.]
JOHN [uncomfortably]. And is Elizabeth hearty, James?
JAMES [looking down his nose in the manner proper to young husbands when
addressed about their wives]. She’s very well, I thank you kindly.
MAGGIE. James is a married man now, Lady Sybil.
[SYBIL murmurs her congratulations.]
JAMES. I thank you kindly. [Courageously] Yes, I’m married. [He looks at
DAVID and ALICK to see if they are smiling; and they are.] It wasn’t a
case of being catched; it was entirely of my own free will. [He looks
again; and the mean fellows are smiling still.] Is your ladyship
married?
SYBIL. Alas! no.
DAVID. James! [Politely.] You will be yet, my lady.
[SYBIL indicates that he is kind indeed.]
JOHN. Perhaps they would like you to show them their rooms, Maggie?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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