What Every Woman KnowsBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
What Every Woman Knows
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
COMTESSE. With a few trivial alterations by yourself, I swear. Can you
deny it?
[No wonder that MAGGIE is outraged. She replaces JOHN’s speech in the
bag with becoming hauteur.]
MAGGIE. Comtesse, these insinuations are unworthy of you. May I ask
where is my husband?
[The COMTESSE drops her a curtsey.]
COMTESSE. I believe your Haughtiness may find him in the Dutch garden.
Oh, I see through you. You are not to show him your speech. But you are
to get him to write another one, and somehow all your additions will be
in it. Think not, creature, that you can deceive one so old in iniquity
as the Comtesse de la Briere.
[There can be but one reply from a good wife to such a charge, and at
once the COMTESSE is left alone with her shame. Anon a footman appears.
You know how they come and go.]
FOOTMAN. You rang, my lady?
COMTESSE. Did I? Ah, yes, but why? [He is but lately from the
ploughshare and cannot help her. In this quandary her eyes alight upon
the bag. She is unfortunately too abandoned to feel her shame; she still
thinks that she has the choice of weapons. She takes the speech from the
bag and bestows it on her servitor.] Take this to Mr. Venables, please,
and say it is from Mr. Shand. [THOMAS--but in the end we shall probably
call him JOHN--departs with the dangerous papers; and when MAGGIE
returns she finds that the COMTESSE is once more engaged in her
interrupted game of Patience.] You did not find him?
[All the bravery has dropped from MAGGIE’s face.]
MAGGIE. I didn’t see him, but I heard him. SHE is with him. I think they
are coming here.
[The COMTESSE is suddenly kind again.]
COMTESSE. Sybil? Shall I get rid of her?
MAGGIE. No, I want her to be here, too. Now I shall know.
[The COMTESSE twists the little thing round.]
COMTESSE. Know what?
MAGGIE. As soon as I look into his face I shall know.
[A delicious scent ushers in the fair SYBIL, who is as sweet as a
milking stool. She greets MRS. SHAND with some alarm.]
MAGGIE. How do you do, Lady Sybil? How pretty you look in that frock.
[SYBIL rustles uncomfortably.] You are a feast to the eye.
SYBIL. Please, I wish you would not.
[Shall we describe SYBIL’S frock, in which she looks like a great
strawberry that knows it ought to be plucked; or would it be easier to
watch the coming of JOHN? Let us watch JOHN.]
JOHN. You, Maggie! You never wrote that you were coming.
[No, let us watch MAGGIE. As soon as she looked into his face she was to
know something of importance.]
MAGGIE [not dissatisfied with what she sees]. No, John, it’s a surprise
visit. I just ran down to say good-bye.
[At this his face falls, which does not seem to pain her.]
SYBIL [foreseeing another horrible Scotch scene]. To say good-bye?
COMTESSE [thrilling with expectation]. To whom, Maggie?
SYBIL [deserted by the impediment, which is probably playing with rough
boys in the Lovers’ Lane]. Auntie, do leave us, won’t you?
COMTESSE. Not I. It is becoming far too interesting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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