And now that the little one is two or three years old, it may be well to say a few words about his general training in character and habits. There is a strong, and a not unnatural tendency to maintain an attitude toward the deaf child that differs from that maintained by sensible mothers toward their other children. They often set up a different standard of conduct and of obligation for the afflicted child. His brothers and sisters are taught to always defer to his wishes; even to the extent of yielding to improper and selfish demands on his part, and conceding that they have no rights where he is concerned. He is not required to perform the little duties demanded of the other children. He is given privileges which the others do not, and which no one of them, including himself, should enjoy. He grows tyrannical, domineering, and selfish. The mother says: "Poor little chap; he has trouble enough, we must do all in our power to make up to him for what he misses by reason of his deafness." This is, however, a shortsighted, and really a cruel policy. It lays up much misery for his future, and in the end proves a serious handicap to one who needs to have as few additional difficulties as possible. Though it may seem hard-hearted, it is really kinder to put him on the same basis as any other child. Make him do everything possible for himself. Insist upon his being independent; dressing himself as soon as he is able, buttoning his own shoes, and performing all the little self-help acts that the wise mother demands of all her children. Make no distinction in the treatment accorded him. Ask the same services, reward right actions and punish wrongdoing as impartially as if he was not deaf, only being sure that he clearly connects the punishment with the wrong act. This, in the case of a deaf child, requires a little more care than with a hearing child. Train him to be thoughtful for the comfort of others, and respectful of their rights, just as you insist that the others observe his rights. He cannot be argued with, object lessons and example must be the means of teaching him manners and morals. XII CULTIVATING THE SOCIAL INSTINCT