Only Betty knew the scrimping and the saving Jack, at Oxford, and Tom, at
Winchester, now entailed on the part of those who lived at Old Place.
Why, she herself counted every penny with anxious care, and the stupid,
kindly folk who asked, just a trifle censoriously, why she wasn't "doing
something," now that "every career is open to a girl, especially to one
who did so well in the War," would perhaps have felt a little ashamed had
they discovered that she was housemaid, parlourmaid, often cook, to a
large and not always easily pleased family. They never had a visitor to
stay now--they simply couldn't afford it--and she hated the thought of
Godfrey, himself now so unnaturally prosperous, coming back to such an
altered state of things.
Besides, that was not all. Betty covered her face with her hands, and
slow, bitter, reluctant tears began to ooze through her fingers. She had
tried not to think of Godfrey and of his coming, these last two or three
days. She had put the knowledge of what was going to happen from her,
with a kind of hard, defiant determination. But now she was sorry--sorry,
that she had not taken her step-mother's advice, and gone away for a long
week-end. Betty Tosswill felt like a man who, having suffered intolerably
from a wound which has at last healed, learns with sick apprehension that
his wound is to be torn open.
Although not even Janet, her one real close friend and confidant, was
aware of it, Godfrey had not been the only man in Betty's life. There had
been two men, out in France, who had loved her, and lost no time in
telling her so. One had been killed; the other still wrote to her at
intervals, begging her earnestly, pathetically, to marry him, and
sometimes she half thought she would.
But always Godfrey Radmore stood before the door of her heart,
imperiously, almost contemptuously, "shooing off" any would-be intruder.
And yet to-day she told herself, believing what she said, that she no
longer loved him. She remembered now, as if they had been uttered
yesterday, the cruel words he had flung at her during their last hour
together when he had taunted her with not giving up everything and going
off with him--and that though she had known that there was, even then, a
part of his acute, clever brain telling him insistently that she would
be a drag on him in his new life.... She had also been cut to the heart
that Godfrey had not written to her father when his one-time closest
friend, her twin-brother, George, had been killed.
To-day for the first time, Betty Tosswill told herself that perhaps she
had been mistaken in doing right instead of wrong, in coming here to help
Janet with her far from easy task with the younger children, instead of
getting a good job, as she knew she could have done, after the War.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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