There had been a discussion between herself and Janet as to whether Mr.
Tosswill should start taking pupils again in his old age, but they had
decided against it, largely because they felt that the class of pupils
whom he had been accustomed to take before the war, and who could alone
be of any use from the financial point of view, could not now be made
really comfortable at Old Place. Betty was ashamed of feeling how much it
hurt her pride to know how concerned Godfrey would be to find how poor
they had become. She would not have minded this if he had been poor
himself. But she hated the thought of a rich Godfrey, who flung money
about over foolish, extravagant presents, discovering, suddenly, how
altered were their circumstances since the day when he had rushed out
of the house throwing the big cheque kind John Tosswill had shamefacedly
handed to him, on to the floor.
* * * * *
After Betty had had her own cold bath, and had prepared a tepid one for
her father, she dressed quickly, and going over to the dressing-table
in the large, low-ceilinged room--a room which, in spite of the fact
that everything in it was old and worn, had yet an air of dainty charm
and dignity, for everything in it was what old-fashioned people call
"good"--she looked dispassionately at herself in the glass.
Her step-mother had said, "You haven't changed one bit!" But that was
not true. Of course she had changed--changed very much, outwardly and
inwardly, since she was nineteen. For one thing, the awful physical
strain of her work in France had altered her, turned her from a girl into
a woman. She had seen many terrible things, and she had met with certain
grim adventures she could never forget, which remained all the more vivid
because she had never spoken of them to a living being.
And then, as she suddenly told herself, with a rather bitter feeling of
revolt, the life she was leading now was not calculated to make her
retain a look of youth. Last week, in a fit of temper, Rosamund had said
to her:--"I only wish you could see yourself! You look a regular
'govvy'!" She had laughed--the rather spiteful words passing her by--for
she had never cared either for learning or teaching. But now, as she
gazed critically in her mirror, she told herself that, yes, she really
did look rather like a nice governess--the sort of young woman a certain
type of smart lady would describe as her "treasure". Forty or fifty years
ago that was the sort of human being into which she would have turned
almost automatically when poverty had first knocked at the door of Old
Place. Now, thank God, people who could afford to pay well for a
governess wanted a trained teacher, not an untrained gentlewoman for
their children.
But Betty did not waste much time staring at herself. Throwing her head
back with what had become a characteristic gesture, she went off and
called her sisters and brothers before running lightly down the back
stairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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