What Will He Do with It? — Volume 03Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
What Will He Do with It? — Volume 03
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
MR. HARTOPP.--"Mr. Chapman, let us be frank with each other. I am not a
clever man; perhaps a dull one. If I had set up for a clever man, I
should not be where I am now. Hush! no compliments. But my life has
brought me into frequent contact with those who suffer; and the dullest
of us gain a certain sharpness in the matters to which our observation is
habitually drawn. You took me in at first, it is true. I thought you
were a philanthropical humourist, who might have crotchets, as many
benevolent men, with time on their hands and money in their pockets, are
apt to form. But when it came to the begging hat (I ask your pardon;
don't let me offend you), when it came to the begging hat, I recognized
the man who wants philanthropy from others, and whose crotchets are to be
regarded in a professional point of view. Sir, I have come here alone,
because I alone perhaps see the case as it really is. Will you confide
in me? you may do it safely. To be plain, who and what are you?"
THE COMEDIAN (evasively).--"What do you take me for, Mr. Mayor? What can
I be other than an itinerant showman, who has had resort to a harmless
stratagem in order to obtain an audience, and create a surprise that
might cover the naked audacity of the 'begging hat'!"
MR. HARTOPP (gravely).--"When a man of your ability and education is
reduced to such stratagems, he must have committed some great faults.
Pray Heaven it be no worse than faults!"
THE COMEDIAN (bitterly).--"That is always the way with the prosperous.
Is a man unfortunate? They say, 'Why don't he help himself?' Does he
try to help himself? They say, 'With so much ability, why does not he
help himself better?' Ability and education! Snares and springes, Mr.
Mayor! Ability and education! the two worst mantraps that a poor fellow
can put his foot into! Aha! Did not you say if you had set up to be
clever, you would not be where you now are:' A wise saying; I admire you
for it. Well, well, I and my dog have amused your townsfolk; they have
amply repaid us. We are public servants; according as we act in public--
hiss us or applaud. Are we to submit to an inquisition into our private
character? Are you to ask how many mutton bones has that dog stolen?
how many cats has he worried? or how many shirts has the showman in his
wallet? how many debts has he left behind him? what is his rent-roll
on earth, and his account with Heaven? Go and put those questions to
ministers, philosophers, generals, poets. When they have acknowledged
your right to put them, come to me and the other dog."
MR. HARTOPP (rising and drawing on his gloves).--"I beg your pardon! I
have done, sir. And yet I conceived an interest in you. It is because I
have no talents myself that I admire those who have. I felt a mournful
anxiety, too, for your poor little girl,--so young, so engaging. And is
it necessary that you should bring up that child in a course of life
certainly equivocal, and to females dangerous?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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