What Will He Do with It? — Volume 06Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
What Will He Do with It? — Volume 06
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"I made, then, a promise; it is not kept. No child of mine survives to
be taught reverence to my father's grave. My wedded life was not happy:
its record needs no words. Of two children born to me, both are gone.
My son went first. I had thrown my life's life into him,--a boy of
energy, of noble promise. 'T was for him I began to build that baffled
fabric, 'Sepulchri immemor.' For him I bought, acre on acre, all the
land within reach of Fawley,-lands twelve miles distant. I had meant to
fill up the intervening space, to buy out a mushroom earl whose woods and
cornfields lie between. I was scheming the purchase, scrawling on the
county map, when they brought the news that the boy I had just taken back
to school was dead,--drowned bathing on a calm summer eve. No, Lionel.
I must go on. That grief I have wrestled with,--conquered. I was
widowed then. A daughter still left,--the first-born, whom my father had
blest on his death-bed. I transferred all my love, all my hopes, to her.
I had no vain preference for male heirs. Is a race less pure that runs
on through the female line? Well, my son's death was merciful compared
to--" Again Darrell stopped, again hurried on. "Enough! all is
forgiven in the grave! I was then still in the noon of man's life, free
to form new ties. Another grief that I cannot tell you; it is not all
conquered yet. And by that grief the last verdure of existence was so
blighted that--that--in short, I had no heart for nuptial altars, for the
social world. Years went by. Each year I said, 'Next year the wound
will be healed; I have time yet.' Now age is near, the grave not far;
now, if ever, I must fulfil the promise that cheered my father's death-
bed. Nor does that duty comprise all my motives. If I would regain
healthful thought, manly action, for my remaining years, I must feel that
one haunting memory is exorcised and forever laid at rest. It can be so
only,--whatever my risk of new cares, whatever the folly of the hazard
at my age,--be so only by--by--" Once more Darrell paused, fixed his
eyes steadily on Lionel, and, opening his arms, cried out, "Forgive me,
my noble Lionel, that I am not contented with an heir like you; and do
not you mock at the old man who dreams that woman may love him yet, and
that his own children may inherit his father's home."
Lionel sprang to the breast that opened to him; and if Darrell had
planned how best to remove from the young man's mind forever the
possibility of one selfish pang, no craft could have attained his object
like that touching confidence before which the disparities between youth
and age literally vanished. And, both made equal, both elevated alike,
verily I know not which at the moment felt the elder or the younger! Two
noble hearts, intermingled in one emotion, are set free from all time
save the present: par each with each, they meet as brothers twin-born.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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