TODD. My dear Laura, there’s the difference between us—you’re remarkable for physical energy—I for contemplative repose. The study of Bradshaw fatigues one’s mind so. (PERKS, _who has been clearing off luggage_, R., _gets round at back to_ L. _and takes up concertina from chair_) Mind that concertina, Perks—it’s the only instrument I play—(_takes it from her_, C.), and having devoted myself for six months to “My Mary Ann,” I rather flatter myself I shall create an extraordinary sensation amongst the foreign echoes this summer. (_he commences playing_ “_My Mary Ann_,” _when a knock is heard_) Hah! who can this be? PERKS _crosses at back and exits_, R. 1 E. MRS. T. I dare say my uncle Croker—come to bid us good bye. TODD. Your uncle, my dear, is a very worthy man. I should feel bound to respect his venerable hairs, if he had any left to respect, but that hydropathic habit he has—of throwing cold water upon everything—is very disagreeable. _Enter_ CHOKER, R. 1 E., _followed by_ PERKS, _who collects some of the scattered articles and carries them off_, R. 1 E. MRS. T. (_kissing_ CROKER) My dear uncle! (CROKER _crosses to_ C.) TODD. (L. _shaking his hand_) How d’ye do, Croker? How are you? Never saw you look so jolly in your life. (_aside_) Dismal as a cherub on a tombstone! It was very kind of you to call; we start on our tour in the morning, so you’re just in time to see the last of us. CROK. ( C.) The last of you! Ah, Samuel, I hope there may be nothing prophetic in your words, but I have a melancholy foreboding— MRS. T. (R.) For goodness sake, uncle, don’t talk of melancholy forebodings—when we are looking forward to the Continent. TODD. Aye, what do you think of six months amidst the classic scenes of Italy. Fancy smoking a cigar on the summit of Vesuvius; think of dancing the Tarantula amidst the ruins of Pompeii; imagine the delicious maccaroni—and the lazzaroni—and all the other oni’s. (_forgetting himself_) Picture to yourself the indescribable rapture of floating on the moonlit sea with a lovely creature beside you. MRS. T. (_indignantly_) Mr. Todd! TODD. (_recollecting himself crosses_ C. to MRS. TODD) Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Of course my dear, I was thinking of you—idealizing you as it were—in a poetic dream. (_crosses back to_ L.) By the bye, Croker, is there anything we can do for you abroad? We expect to be in Boulogne to-morrow night. CROK. ( C.) Well, I don’t wish to alarm you—but I had once a dear friend who was lost in crossing to Boulogne. TODD. (L.) Lost! hem! dear me! But with a good steamer you’re tolerably safe, I believe. CROK. I’ve heard of several appalling catastrophes to steamers. Now, if you’d like to hear a few of them. (_sits on_ L. _of table_, C.) MRS. T. (_seated_ R. _of table_) Oh, dear, no! Don’t trouble yourself, uncle.