She did not answer, and he felt that he really must kiss her hair, that
he could not be responsible if the situation continued much longer.
“Tell me,” he said gently, “and we'll see what I can do.”
“I can't. You will despise me.--Oh, Ned, I am so ashamed!”
He laughed incredulously, and lightly touched her hair with his lips--so
lightly that she did not know.
“Dear little one, let us forget all about it, whatever it is. I want to
tell you how I love--”
She uttered a sharp cry that was all delight, and then moaned--
“Too late!”
“Too late?” he echoed in surprise.
“Oh, why did I? Why did I?” she was moaning.
He was aware of a swift chill at his heart.
“What?” he asked.
“Oh, I... he... Billy.
“I am such a wicked woman, Ned. I know you will never speak to me
again.”
“This--er--this Billy,” he began haltingly. “He is your brother?”
“No... he... I didn't know. I was so young. I could not help it. Oh, I
shall go mad! I shall go mad!”
It was then that Loretta felt his shoulder and the encircling arm become
limp. He drew away from her gently, and gently he deposited her in a
big chair, where she buried her face and sobbed afresh. He twisted his
moustache fiercely, then drew up another chair and sat down.
“I--I do not understand,” he said.
“I am so unhappy,” she wailed.
“Why unhappy?”
“Because... he... he wants me to marry him.”
His face cleared on the instant, and he placed a hand soothingly on
hers.
“That should not make any girl unhappy,” he remarked sagely. “Because
you don't love him is no reason--of course, you don't love him?”
Loretta shook her head and shoulders in a vigorous negative.
“What?”
Bashford wanted to make sure.
“No,” she asserted explosively. “I don't love Billy! I don't want to
love Billy!”
“Because you don't love him,” Bashford resumed with confidence, “is no
reason that you should be unhappy just because he has proposed to you.”
She sobbed again, and from the midst of her sobs she cried--
“That's the trouble. I wish I did love him. Oh, I wish I were dead!”
“Now, my dear child, you are worrying yourself over trifles.” His other
hand crossed over after its mate and rested on hers. “Women do it every
day. Because you have changed your mind or did not know your mind,
because you have--to use an unnecessarily harsh word--jilted a man--”
“Jilted!” She had raised her head and was looking at him with
tear-dimmed eyes. “Oh, Ned, if that were all!”
“All?” he asked in a hollow voice, while his hands slowly retreated from
hers. He was about to speak further, then remained silent.
“But I don't want to marry him,” Loretta broke forth protestingly.
“Then I shouldn't,” he counselled.
“But I ought to marry him.”
“OUGHT to marry him?”
She nodded.
“That is a strong word.”
“I know it is,” she acquiesced, while she strove to control her
trembling lips. Then she spoke more calmly. “I am a wicked woman, a
terribly wicked woman. No one knows how wicked I am--except Billy.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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