Children -- Fiction; Fairy tales; Girls -- Fiction; Play -- Fiction
I had been told to tidy my top bureau drawer. I have always loathed
tidying my top bureau drawer. It is so unlike a real task. It is made
up of odds and ends of tasks that ought to have been despatched long
ago and gradually, by process of throwing away, folding, putting in
boxes, hanging up, and other utterly uninteresting operations. I can
create a thing, I can destroy a thing, I can keep a thing as it was;
but to face a top bureau drawer is none of these things. It is a motley
task, unclassified, without honour, a very tag-end and bobtail of a
task, fit for nobody.
I was thinking things that meant this, and hanging out the window. It
was a gentle day, like a perfectly natural human being who wants to
make friends and will not pretend one iota in order to be your friend.
I remember that it was a still day, that I loved, not as I loved Uncle
Linas and Aunt Frances, who always played with me and gave me things,
but as I loved Mother and father when they took me somewhere with them,
on Sunday afternoons.... I had a row of daffodils coming up in the
garden. I began pretending that they were marching down the border,
down the border, down the border to the big rock by the cooking-apple
tree--why of course! I had never thought of it, but that rock was where
they got their gold....
A house-wren came out of a niche in the porch and flew down to the
platform in the boxalder, where father was accustomed to feed the
birds. The platform was spread with muffin crumbs. The little wren ate,
and flew to the clothes-line and poured forth his thankful exquisite
song. I had always felt regret that we had no clothes reel that
would whirl like a witch in the wind, but instead merely a system of
clothes-lines, duly put up on Mondays; but the little wren evidently
did not know the difference.
“Abracadabra, make me sing like that....” I told him. But I hadn’t said
the right thing, and he flew away and left me not singing. I began
thinking what if he _had_ made me sing, and what if I had put back my
head and gone downstairs singing like a wren, and gone to arithmetic
class singing like a wren, and nobody could have stopped me, and nobody
would have wanted to stop me....
... I leaned over the sill, holding both arms down and feeling the
blood flow down and weight my fingers like a pulse. What if I should
fall out the window and instead of striking the ground hard, as folk do
when they fall out of windows, I should go softly through the earth,
and feel it pressing back from my head and closing together behind my
heels, and pretty soon I should come out, plump ... before the Root of
Everything and sit there for a long time and watch it grow....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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