When Men Grew Tall, or The Story of Andrew Jackson — John Shaqi
When Men Grew Tall, or The Story of Andrew JacksonLewis, Alfred Henry
History
When Men Grew Tall, or The Story of Andrew Jackson
Lewis, Alfred Henry
Jackson, Andrew, 1767-1845
The General waits, and curses Commander Wilkinson, for divers weeks.
Then occurs one of those imbecilities, of which only the witlessness of
Government is capable, and whereof the archives at Washington carry
so many examples. The General receives a curt dispatch from the war
secretary, “dismissing” him and his hunting-shirt soldiers from the
service of the United States. Not a word is said as to pay, or provision
for returning to the Cumberland. Having gotten the General and his
little army several hundred wilderness miles from home, the thick-head
Government, with no intelligence and as little heart, coolly reduces him
and them to the practical status of vagrants; which feat accomplished,
it walks away, as it were, hands in pockets, whistling “Yankee Doodle.”
Possibly, the Government thinks that the General and his hunting-shirt
friends can float upstream as they floated down. The angry General,
however, makes no such marine mistake, and the intricate oaths which he
now evolves and fulminates, as expressive of his feelings, would have
won the admiration of any army that ever fought in Flanders.
The General's credit is golden, since he has ever been a fanatic about
paying debts. Invoking that credit, he cashes a handful of drafts, and
marches home with his hunting-shirt contingent at his own expense. Also
he indites a letter to that war secretary which reddens the latter's
departmental ears, and causes his departmental head to buzz like a nest
of hornets. Later, the Government pays the General the amount of those
drafts; not because it is right--since the argument of right has little
Washington weight--but for the far more moving reason that Tennessee,
in a rage, is preparing to desert the boneless President Madison for the
Federalists. It is the latter thought which brings a ray of common sense
to the besotted Government, and his money to our General, now back in
Tennessee.
The bellicose General is vastly disappointed at missing a brush with
invading British; for, aside from a saber-engrafted hatred of all
English things and men, he is one to dote on fighting for fighting's
crimson sake, and is almost as well pleased with mere battle as with
victory. However, he is given scanty room for sorrowful reflections,
since fate is hurrying to his relief with a private war of his own.
The General, ever an expositor of the duello, and the peaceful hours
resting heavy on his hands, goes out as second for a Captain Carroll
against Mr. Jesse Benton. Captain Carroll is shot in the toe, and Mr.
Benton in the leg; whereat the General and the Cumberland public groan
over results so inadequate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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