"You must now bravely 'screw your courage to the sticking place;' you are nailed to that chair for the space of two hours and a half at least, without any chance of conversation, except only a few interrupted words, each person speaking occasionally in a low tone to his or her neighbour. The burly Mr. Crack, to whom Mrs. Jackson introduced us, has, as yet, only opened his mouth for the purpose of endeavouring to satisfy his extraordinary appetite; this, however, appears to be labour in vain; he is placed in the middle of the table, and fills the place of two persons, whilst he eats enough for four. As to that _soi-disant élégant_--that little personage placed next to Miss Maria, who cannot turn his head because of his stiff black stock which keeps it in prison--you will guess by his ridiculous affectation and exaggerated politeness to his neighbours to what sphere he belongs; particularly when, during the dessert, on her asking him the favour to give her an orange, he will take it up between two spoons, one in each hand, his elbows raised and his fingers extended. The only speech which you will have heard him utter was when good Mr. Jackson cried out, after emptying his glass, 'After all, the climate of England is the best in the world!' and he rejoined, 'It is unquestionably true!' Thus pass two hours! However, at last the cloth is removed, and we continue round the well-rubbed or polished mahogany table. At this point of the entertainment Mr. Jackson makes us a bow, pronouncing at the same time a few indistinct words; we all return his bow. This, after dinner, is a regular custom--a sort of _agimus tibi gratias_, which is thus said in abridgment. "The table is now covered with crystal, fruit, and flowers, and wine decanters; these are first arranged in battle array before the host; and, at his signal, made by pushing the first round, they begin their promenade of the table, one gentleman sliding them along to the next; the ladies take a little, taste the fruit, and, having occupied some moments in putting on their white gloves, rise, following the example of Mrs. Jackson; we all do the same, but only to conduct them to the door of the room. Here, however, the force of habit makes you forget the recommendation I had given you--you try to escape; but a hand retains you by the tail of your coat; it is that of Mr. Jackson, who observes to you that you have still a bottle of claret to finish with him. Mr. Crack, too, had made a polite effort to rise on the departure of the ladies, but his own weight reseated him; he has now got to the raisins and preserved fruits, etc.