In general, the decision to terminate therapy should be made with a number of objectives in mind: * Have your troubling symptoms disappeared or at least been reduced to a level that is tolerable? * Have you improved your understanding of yourself so that you feel a healthy measure of self-acceptance? * Do you now have a greater tolerance to frustration? * Have you developed realistic life goals? * Are you able to function relatively well in social groups? * Are you better able to enjoy life and work? These goals need always to be _tempered_; they all involve comparative judgments that should take into account where you started and what you have accomplished. There is no perfection here, only degrees of adjustment, compromise, and a willingness to accept yourself as a mixture of human weaknesses and strengths. ... [W]e have to content ourselves with the modest objective of freedom from disturbing symptoms, the capacity to function reasonably well, and to experience a modicum of happiness in living.[1] [1] Lewis R. Wolberg, _The Technique of Psychotherapy_, vol. 2, p. 747. FACING RELAPSES Some therapists believe that therapy cannot be called successful until you have had a relapse and have been able to get {284} through it on your own. Shadows of old habits linger on. They are especially likely to resurface during periods of insecurity, disappointment, and frustration. They represent a part of you--perhaps a part you would just as soon were not there, but a part of you, nonetheless, that you cannot expect to eradicate completely. You are much better prepared to face the challenges of the future, of events that cannot be anticipated, and of uncertainties that cannot be avoided, if you do not demand a total change in yourself to the point that old reactions never recur. You are better prepared if you realize that it is likely some will return for brief visits during periods of particular stress. If and when this happens, you can render these visits less distressing and less able to throw you by using the understanding you have gained from therapy. You are apt to get a flurry of anxiety and a return of symptoms from time to time. Don't be upset or intimidated by this. The best way to handle yourself is first to realize that your relapse is self-limited. It will eventually come to a halt. Nothing terrible will happen to you. Second, ask yourself what has been going on. Try to figure out what created your upset, what aroused your tension. Relate this to the general patterns that you have been pursuing.... Old habits hold on, but they will eventually get less and less provoking.[2] [2] Wolberg, _The Technique of Psychotherapy_, vol. 2, p. 754. HOW TO CARRY ON