Now, when you decide to change in some psychologically fundamental way, you must push against the rigid framework of certain of these protective defenses. When you do this, you will feel anxiety. You are forcing your emotional fuses to adjust to a different pattern of behavior and feelings. Your sense of personal identity is made up of a network of ways you have come to perceive yourself, your loved ones, your work, and your world. Any attempt--even if it is your own, entered into through your own choosing--to change patterns that are psychologically basic to your sense of identity will threaten that established identity and produce a measure of anxiety. The longer these habitual patterns of behavior and feeling have been in force, the more deeply rooted they become in your sense of identity, and the more unsettling and anxiety-producing an attempt to change them will be. Although your defenses protect against emotional overload, they also stand in your way of change. They are fundamentally _conservative_ mechanisms: established habits of thought, feeling, and behavior are _familiar_, and familiarity reduces the anxiety brought about by uncertainty. If you are considering making significant changes in your life, your defenses will rally to protect the equilibrium of habits you have formed in the past. If you push yourself to change, you will face a predictable degree of anxiety. Fortunately, there are, as we shall see, many ways of coping with the anxiety brought about by change; therapy offers some of these, and some are available to us all if we draw on inner resources. As long as you are alive it is possible to change. Ultimately, the decision to change is an expression of your choice and will. When change _is_ achieved, it usually comes after long and arduous trying. We are all aware of the heroic efforts some {34} people can and do make to overcome a physical handicap. Overcoming deeply entrenched emotional habits can require similar tenacity and commitment. If you want to bring about some basic changes in yourself or in your relationships with others, your inner strength and resolve will be essential. Frequently, individuals expect a therapist to accomplish change _for_ them: they are willing to come for an hour's consultation once or twice a week, and they will be very cooperative during each visit, but they seem unwilling or unable to develop the initiative to carry on efforts begun in the therapist's office.