British -- Oceania -- Fiction; Missionaries -- Fiction
When the tumult died at last into silence, the young man got up and
stood and gripped the railing of the platform.
His face was white and set. "A man of indomitable will," they said.
His eyes burnt with a gloomy fire. "He has seen strange and terrible
things," they said.
He swayed slightly once or twice before he found his voice. "He has
been very near to death," they said.
And then he began to speak, quietly, as one who might need all his
strength before he was done; but there was a timbre in it, born of
outdoor speaking, which carried to the remotest corner, and a thrill in
it which found its way to every heart. And, of all that great
assembly, the only face he saw with any distinctness was the face of
the girl in the third row, with its calm brow and its lustrous
up-glance. He spoke to it. He watched it. If he could convince that
one face of all that was in him, he felt that it would be well with him.
In his emotion he overlooked all formalities. He found his voice at
last, and said, "My friends, the words I have just been listening to
have been to me as sword-thrusts through the heart."
The silence was intense. Every ear and every eye was upon him. He saw
only the calm, sweet face of the girl in the third row.
"I have a very terrible confession to make to you. Had I known what
was intended this evening I should not have been here, but no slightest
word of it reached me. My sole desire has been to get back to my work
out yonder, and to lay down my life in it. I have been told that I am
a man of courage and endurance ... of tried nerve ... of unflinching
fidelity. There was a time when I too believed this of myself." He
spoke very slowly and with a solemn impressiveness which those who
heard it never forgot to the last day of their lives. "But between
that and this there is a deep gulf ... and at the bottom of that gulf
lies the dead body of my dear friend and chief. His death lies at my
door."
An almost imperceptible movement ran through the audience, as though a
cold breath shook it with a simultaneous chill. The face of the girl
in the third row remained steadfastly calm. If anything, it seemed to
glow with a deeper intensity of hopeful inquiry. "Say what you will, I
believe in you!" it said.
"The whole truth of what happened on that dreadful day has never been
told. I will confess that I had dared to hope that it might never need
to be told--that it might lie between myself and God--that I might be
permitted by Him to work out my redemption on the field of my failure,
chastened, and perhaps strengthened, by what has passed. For, at a
vital moment, when the flinching of an eyelid meant disaster, I ...
flinched.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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