He did the homeward drive slowly, preyed upon by swarms of disagreeable
thoughts. His experience of women had taught him to be more than
suspicious of any feminine show of enthusiasm for a man; women were too
self-centered, too prudent by nature and training, to give themselves
out freely, even when encouraged--unless there were some strong, sordid
motive. In this case sordid motive simply could not be. Nor could he
conceive any practical reason why Beatrice should pretend to care for
him--any practical reason why she should wish to marry him. He felt
like a fool--as a normal man not swollen with conceit is bound to feel
in circumstances such as Beatrice had made for him. And what vanity
she had!--to fancy herself so fascinating that it simply could not be
that he did not love her. And how poor an opinion she had of him! How
little respect for him!--to believe that his reason for hiding his
love was awe of her wealth and social position. “What can I have said
or done to give her such an impression of me?” He could recall nothing
that might have been twisted by her into a suggestion of that sort. No,
the mystery was without a clew. “Am I crazy, or is she?” he demanded
of the moonlit night.... And when was this thing to stop? Could Fate
have dealt more irritatingly with him? He had come back home to make
the grand effort of his life--to concentrate his whole being, every
power of mind and body, every thought and feeling, upon the realization
of his lifelong dream. And here was this girl, a nice enough girl, no
doubt, an unusually attractive girl, as girls go, but still a mere
idle, time-wasting woman with no real seriousness--here she was,
harassing him, retarding his work, distracting his thoughts, involving
him with a lot of people who had neither importance nor interest for
him. In spite of himself he was being dragged into her life, whirled
about by her caprices. He felt not only like a fool, but like a weak
fool. “And what the devil can I do about it? How can I be insulting to
a sweet, friendly girl who doesn’t realize what she’s doing and has
been so brought up that she can’t be made to realize?”
The only hopeful course that suggested itself was flight. “Yes--if she
keeps this up I’ll have to take to my heels.” There his sense of humor
came to the rescue and he jeered at himself. “A delightful person I’m
becoming!--discussing what to do to escape from a girl who is madly in
love with me!”
* * * * *
About the time that Burke, the liveryman, was once more in possession
of his “rig,” Beatrice, undressing for bed with the aid of her maid
Valentine, received a peremptory summons from her mother by way of her
mother’s maid, Marthe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account